Stressful Times

Friday was the last day of summer school for Kai. He came home without his shirt.

Biting his shirts and ripping them to shreds is nothing new with Kai. He has done it many times now.

This summer, he actually had the best session of summer school of the three years he has attended. But even so, he destroyed about four or five shirts over the course of the past two months.

Earlier this summer, he got mad when his van was the last one to depart back to school after a field trip to the Jelly Belly factory. It did not help when the driver missed the exit and they were delayed further. And when he was back at school, he released his anger by chewing up his shirt. When I picked him up at school, most of the front of the shirt he was wearing was missing, with nothing there but the collar and sleeves. (He is pictured in it here, several hours later. He wanted to put it back on because he thought it looked like a superhero cape).

On this latest occasion, some of the kids were to be honored at the end-of-summer ceremony with a “gold medal” for being safe all summer, something Kai had known for some time now that he did not achieve. We also learned that he was anxious because the kids at school were competing in Olympic-type activities, and Kai has severe difficulty with the issue of being first, and with handling losing.

That combination apparently led to him getting angry and aggressive. He destroyed this shirt in the process.

The school is asking if we can find heavier shirts that are more difficult to rip apart. Umm, a knight’s armor, perhaps?

While we are somewhat used to hearing these types of incidents at school, the past few days he has been quicker to anger at home as well.

On Friday, he got angry when he and Mom were about to walk the dogs. He had trouble tying his shoes. Then he wanted to use the bathroom. Before we knew it, a little frustration turned into a big eruption. He told Mom to go walking without him, but then got mad when she did.

He threw to the floor all the things that were on the shelf in his room. He peed in the waste basket instead of the toilet. He said really mean things to me and my wife.

It took a long time, and more energy than I really had to expend that day, but he finally calmed down.

But the next day he had a similar eruption.

I’m not sure why he has had these episodes lately. Perhaps his medication needs tweaking. Or, maybe it is my own stress that is keeping me from being as patient with him as I need to be.

In raising Kai, it often feels like we take two steps back for every three steps forward. The past couple days, it has felt more like we are sliding back down the mountain after we had inched our way up.

Hopefully we can find a lift to take us back where we were before. Otherwise, I need to rest up for the long climb.