Thursday, April 10, 2014

Striking Another Boy

So much for the hope that my son would have a better day at school.

When I called my wife after work yesterday, she told me that Kai had a major incident at school. He had struck another boy.

Every Wednesday, Kai’s school rewards students who have been safe for the past week with a video during lunchtime. Kai had had an incident earlier in the week so he did not qualify.

He’s known for a few days that he would not get to watch the movie, but he still has difficulty handling disappointment. And so it seems that he was upset when other kids were enjoying their movie while he was not.

What happened after that is open to question. After Kai’s teacher phoned my wife, my wife had the impression that Kai hit another boy for no reason other than that boy getting to watch the movie that Kai could not.

But when we questioned Kai at home later, he said that he approached the boy to ask him what movie they had seen. When the boy ignored his question, Kai got mad and hit him.

Whether or not that was the case, it still did not excuse him from hitting the boy. (And, fortunately, the boy was not hurt).

My wife and I discussed Kai’s punishment over the phone, and she talked to him sternly about it before I came home. He would not be able to use the iPad until the weekend, and if he did not finish the school week off strong, he would not be able to use it over the weekend either.

When I came home, Kai was not joking around about magically losing his Point Sheet. He knew that we would not be in any mood for silliness.

I reinforced to him that hitting a boy was not an appropriate or acceptable response. I asked him if he apologized to the boy, and he said he did.

His teacher had let my wife know that Kai had bumped his head after the incident. I asked Kai how that happened. He indicated that he deliberately hit his head on the floor in anger, something we have not seen at home in a very long time. I rebuked him and warned him that he could get brain damage if he did that.

The only positive, such as it is, is that I did not hear Kai blame anyone else for what happened which is what he usually does. He seems to understand that he was the one who did something wrong. He seems motivated to have better days today and tomorrow.

Hopefully he will be able to do it.

4 comments:

  1. Ugh...I'm so sorry! I hope he finishes the week strong. The head hitting the floor is really concerning. We've only had a couple of self injurious behaviors here and I'm always worried it will be a new normal they will escalate. Fortunately they have not, but it's still hard for us parents!

    I'm happy to hear Kai didn't blame anyone for his behavior. That in itself is an improvement.

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    1. I am hoping that the head banging was an anomaly. He had a good day today. One day at a time...

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  2. Hmm...this was a fairly serious incident. I wasn't expecting that. I agree with the above comment. The self inflicted head bump would also concern me.
    I, truthfully, have never had to deal with such an incident...so I really can not say how I would handle it. With today being a good day, perhaps it was just an anomaly.

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    1. The whole thing was a bit surprising to us in that Kai has not shown physical aggression to other kids. For now, he is still seems small enough that he doesn't do any real physical harm, but it is something we definitely want to nip in the bud right now.

      The head bump is also puzzling. The call from the school did not indicate that it was a deliberate act. We are having a (routine) meeting with the teacher next week so hopefully we can find out if he has been doing that from before.

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