The Haircut

Yesterday will forever be remembered at our house as the day that Kai got The Haircut.

My wife has been cutting my hair and Kai’s hair at home for several years now. It saves money, as well as the agony of taking Kai to the barbershop.

We try to make the experience somewhat fun for Kai. Mom’s Barbershop has music, and Kai has the job of sweeping up my hair as Mom works on me. Then it is his turn.

We use electric hair clippers, as it is much faster and easier than scissors. You just attach the glide that adjusts for the length you want the hair to be cut. Then, you turn it on and comb it through the hair. After one or two passes through each part of the head, the haircut is done.

Yesterday, Kai and I were watching the NASCAR race on television. It looked like it might end around the time we usually have our haircuts, so Kai decided he wanted his cut earlier so that he would be sure to see the end of the race.

My wife was napping, but Kai got her up to open up the barbershop.

While he usually wants me to get cut first, yesterday he insisted that he go first as he wanted to get back to the race as soon as possible.

As he sat down in the chair, I went to get a broom and dustpan.

I heard my wife scream.

“AAAAAAAKKKKK!!!!!!!”

I ran back to the bathroom where we do the haircuts.

Kai was concerned.

“What? What is it, Mom?”

My wife was excited.

“I’m so sorry! I forgot to put the clip on.”

I saw that she had cut a swatch up the side of Kai’s head. Without the glide adjustment, his hair was shaved down to the skin.

Kai started to get upset.

“WHEN IS MY HAIR GROWING BACK?”

My wife kept apologizing, and said she was still sleepy from her nap, but I think that only made Kai more upset.

“I WANT MY HAIR!”

He started crying.

“MOM, YOU ARE NEVER CUTTING MY HAIR AGAIN!”

My wife hugged Kai, repeatedly apologizing.

This sounds a bit insensitive, but we were both struggling to contain laughter. After all, Kai looked silly with that bald swatch. And it was kind of funny that he was so upset about it.

Here is a boy who constantly puts his clothes on backward, who shows his underwear when he doesn’t pull his pants all the way up, who wipes his dirty hands on his shirts, and through all of it, never seems to care how he looks.

But he was upset now.

I told him that I could fix his hair. In reality, I was trying to think fast what we could do.

I debated between shaving his entire head and giving him a shaved-head look, or just cutting both sides short and giving him a Mohawk or Faux Hawk or whatever they call that style.

I chose the latter.

He did not want to get back in the chair. He did not want anyone taking clippers to his hair any more.

I instructed my wife to quit apologizing and instead to reassure Kai. We both told him that I would give him a cool style.

Kai has a college-age cousin that he looks up to. Kiyoshi always has a unique hairstyle. We told Kai that we would give him a look similar to his fashionable cousin.

We finally got him to sit back down and I got started with the clippers.

I shaved the side of the head that had the bald spot. For some reason, I could not quite cut down that close to the skin so you can still see the original cut. But I was able to make it look like it was planned rather than a big mistake. I then cut the other side short, though I did not have the heart to cut it down to the skin. I trimmed the top but left it long.

Here is the result:





Afterward, we still had time to watch the very exciting finish to the NASCAR race. I did my own animated play-by-play of the finish, both because it was so exciting, and to get Kai’s mind off his head.

He was mostly happy the rest of the afternoon and evening. Though he still asked how long it would be before his hair looked normal again.

We will be telling all of our relatives and his teachers to tell Kai how great he looks with his cool hairstyle.

And I will try not to laugh whenever I look at him.

This is the kind of thing that we will laugh about for years to come, I hope.

Just not too much right now.

Bizarro Kai

My son came home after his karate class yesterday afternoon and declared that he wanted a haircut.  My son asking for a haircut?  I must still be in the same Bizarro World from Sunday when I insisted that we go to the library while Kai resisted because he didn’t want to miss part of the football game.

Longtime readers may recall when I wrote about how difficult haircut time is at our house.  The usual routine is that Kai resists and says he does not want a haircut.  After much encouragement (or *ahem* threats), he finally sits in the chair.  But, even then, his squirming makes it difficult to cut his hair nicely. 

Recently, however, it hasn’t been as bad.  Taking his grandmother Dell’s suggestion, we began using a cape to keep the cut hairs from sticking to his body.  That drastically reduced the itch factor, and cut down on his squirming.  My wife also tried to make the experience more fun.  She “hired” him to be her assistant as she clipped my hair before she got to his.  It’s funny; this kid who hates to clean up his toys loves to clean up the cut, fallen hair. 

Even so, we had never before seen him volunteer to get a haircut.

But, last night, he was so excited about getting to the haircuts that he didn’t even want to eat dessert.  Before he finished his dinner, he grabbed the dustpan and brush and was ready to go.  We popped some music on the CD player and Mom’s Barber Shop was open once again. 

Kai did his assistant barber’s duties nicely.  Then, he sat still and cooperated beautifully when it was his turn.

I don’t know how long this Bizarro World will last, but I am going to enjoy it while it does.

Note: For those of you not familiar with American pop culture, Bizarro World refers to a fictional place where everything is the opposite of how they should be. 

Feeling Like a Bad Dad

I had one of those Bad Dad moments the other day.  You may be familiar with it yourself.  You yell at your child, then feel terrible afterward that you lost your cool and were not as patient as you know you should be.

On this particular occasion, it was haircut time at our house.  My wife gives Kai haircuts at home as we know that it is futile to expect that he will sit still at a barbershop.  Every month, it’s pretty much the same routine.  First, Kai resists and says he does not want a haircut.  Then, he will finally sit down in the chair, but, as the clippers draw near, he pulls away and says he is scared.  Finally, after much encouragement / cajoling / yelling, usually in that order, my wife can finally begin cutting his hair.  Even then, however, he keeps squirming, which makes it difficult to give him a nice, clean, even cut.

Afterward, it is my task to get him cleaned up.  He hates having the cut pieces of hair on himself so we thought that a shower would be the best way to get it all off of him.  That sounds good in theory.  Except that he hates showers. 

The whole process of getting him showered was quite an ordeal.  He kept yelling that he was itchy, but then refused to get into the shower.  When he finally got in the shower, he screamed when his face got wet.  He scrubbed himself with soap, but then did not want to rinse off for fear of getting his face wet again.  My patience wore thin and I yelled at him to get under the water. 

He finally rinsed off and cried the whole time.  After he was done, he quickly toweled himself dry and ran off to tell Mom how mean I was to him. 

Sometimes it’s hard to know when to be gentle and understanding, and when to use a tough love approach.  Should I force him to overcome his fears and just get in the shower?  Am I coddling him if I don’t?

With Kai, I wonder if it’s even more complicated than with most typically developing kids.  He seems to be afraid of almost everything.  He is afraid of getting water on his face, of even slow movement on a bicycle, of trying something for the first time.  How much of his anxiety is related to his sensory issues?  How much of it is due to his neurotransmitters not functioning correctly? How much is just normal fears that he simply needs to overcome?

I don’t have many answers to those questions.  But, I do know this.

Yelling at him when he is scared is not the solution.  I need to remember that and do better next time.