Recalling Our Wedding

We will be attending a wedding this weekend. It will be our first since our own wedding.

Kai was three years old when his mom and I got married. I had met them a little over a year earlier. (You can read about that here.)

We decided to have the wedding in our house as we wanted a setting that was as comfortable for Kai as possible.

At that point, my bond with Kai was not yet strong. But with Mom out all morning getting ready, I was in charge of watching Kai.

I didn’t really understand how difficult a disruption in the routine would be for Kai.

A bunch of strangers came into our house to set up for the wedding. When guests started arriving it got more chaotic. But worst of all, of course, was that Mom was not there until just prior to the start of the ceremony.

His grandparents tried to help me soothe Kai. But he could not be soothed. Even his beloved babysitter could not calm him.



When Mom finally returned home, he clung to her.



We tried to take several photos with him prior to the ceremony, but every attempt ended up similar to this one:



For the ceremony, the plan was for Kai to sit in the front row with his babysitter, dvd player, and lollipop. And for a very short while, he seemed content.



But shortly after Mom walked down the aisle, his babysitter took Kai away. I’m not sure what happened, but we could hear Kai’s loud screams from the next room.

To this day, my wife does not want to watch our wedding video as hearing Kai’s screams still make her cringe.

I recall that my friend who officiated the wedding kept glancing at me as if to ask if he should continue or stop. We continued, and eventually Kai’s screams ceased. His babysitter must have gotten him engaged with a toy or a movie in the playroom.

We ended up having a beautiful ceremony. I was disappointed that Kai was not there for most of it. But he was there in our hearts. And ears.

Afterward, he was finally reunited with Mom.



It took a while, but he did start smiling again and was a happy kid.



And at the reception, he was very happy sitting on Mom’s lap.



Looking back at our wedding day, I can see that it was, in some ways, a microcosm of our life to come.

We would face many challenges. There would be difficult times.

But we would come through it together. We were a family.

It will be interesting to see how Kai does at the wedding this weekend. Here’s hoping there will be less screaming and more smiling.