Thursday, May 23, 2013

Recalling Our Wedding

We will be attending a wedding this weekend. It will be our first since our own wedding.

Kai was three years old when his mom and I got married. I had met them a little over a year earlier. (You can read about that here.)

We decided to have the wedding in our house as we wanted a setting that was as comfortable for Kai as possible.

At that point, my bond with Kai was not yet strong. But with Mom out all morning getting ready, I was in charge of watching Kai.

I didn’t really understand how difficult a disruption in the routine would be for Kai.

A bunch of strangers came into our house to set up for the wedding. When guests started arriving it got more chaotic. But worst of all, of course, was that Mom was not there until just prior to the start of the ceremony.

His grandparents tried to help me soothe Kai. But he could not be soothed. Even his beloved babysitter could not calm him.

When Mom finally returned home, he clung to her.

We tried to take several photos with him prior to the ceremony, but every attempt ended up similar to this one:

For the ceremony, the plan was for Kai to sit in the front row with his babysitter, dvd player, and lollipop. And for a very short while, he seemed content.

But shortly after Mom walked down the aisle, his babysitter took Kai away. I’m not sure what happened, but we could hear Kai’s loud screams from the next room.

To this day, my wife does not want to watch our wedding video as hearing Kai’s screams still make her cringe.

I recall that my friend who officiated the wedding kept glancing at me as if to ask if he should continue or stop. We continued, and eventually Kai’s screams ceased. His babysitter must have gotten him engaged with a toy or a movie in the playroom.

We ended up having a beautiful ceremony. I was disappointed that Kai was not there for most of it. But he was there in our hearts. And ears.

Afterward, he was finally reunited with Mom.

It took a while, but he did start smiling again and was a happy kid.

And at the reception, he was very happy sitting on Mom’s lap.

Looking back at our wedding day, I can see that it was, in some ways, a microcosm of our life to come.

We would face many challenges. There would be difficult times.

But we would come through it together. We were a family.

It will be interesting to see how Kai does at the wedding this weekend. Here’s hoping there will be less screaming and more smiling.


  1. What a cute story! The pictures are just great...I love the one of Kai holding onto his mom's leg. Awww! He's adorable! I hope the wedding and our graduation are both picture perfect and lovely! No screams and lots of smiles. :)

    1. Thanks, Betsy. I think he was quite adorable, too.

      I know you will have a very special weekend and I look forward to hearing all about it. Congrats to you and the boys!

  2. Nice pictures! Kai was very cute 3 year old. It will be interesting to see how this weekend goes. I'll bet Kai will be well behaved...and a little excited about seeing other children there. He is approaching the age of enjoying dressing up like grownups...and seeing their peers in like dress.

    1. I think Kai will be very excited to see his young cousins and so many other relatives. I worry most about whether he will get bored during the ceremony and get loud... we will have to set his expectations in the next two days. It should be very interesting!

  3. The pictures tell the story :)
    I believe it was Shiroi that told me that about our Santa Picture dilemma :)

    1. If there had been any perfect photos of Kai posing nicely, it would not have reflected the reality of the occasion. These pictures tell the real story. :)

      Thanks, Kelly.


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