For Father’s Day, here are my picks for the Top 5 Dads in television history, and my thoughts on how they would have handled being a parent of a child with autism.
You may recall my earlier list of the Top 5 TV Moms. I found this list of TV fathers harder to put together as most of the fathers on recent sitcoms seem to be of the buffoon type, with Raymond from Everybody Loves Raymond being a prime example. He’s a funny character, but not exactly much of a role model. So, I had to dig a little deeper.
Here’s what I came up with. Let’s see if you agree:
5. Steve Douglass – My Three Sons: Fred MacMurray was the quintessential nice-guy dad. On this long-running ‘60s series, he played a widower raising his three sons on his own, with a bit of help from Uncle Charlie. It’s funny what passed for comedy back then. This show had no outrageous characters, and the dad was just a normal, decent guy. It never would be on the air these days. It’s hard to say what kind of parent of an autistic child Steve would have made; his three sons never seemed to provide all that much of a challenge, so who knows how he would have reacted under more stressful situations.
4. Lou Grant – The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Lou Grant: Okay, so he wasn’t really a father. I mean, his character had kids, but I don’t think they were even on one episode. But the reason he makes the list is because he was a great father figure, first for Mary Richards on the MTM sitcom, then for the young journalists on the Lou Grant drama. Gruff but with a soft heart. Though, I can’t see him with a child on the spectrum. I don’t think he would have a clue as to what to do. It’s likely that Mary would have ended up taking care of the poor kid.
3. Burt Hummel – Glee: I don’t watch many television shows these days, but Glee is a guilty pleasure that my wife and I share after our son goes to bed. And while many of the characters are caricatures, Burt Hummel comes across realistically. A guy’s guy, and the father of a gay teen, he doesn’t always relate to his son. But he tries his best to understand, and, more than anything, he supports him and loves his son very much. Those qualities would make him the kind of father many of us are with a child with autism, loving even when we don’t fully understand.
2. Andy Taylor – The Andy Griffith Show: When I was a kid, I looked forward to watching reruns of Andy Griffith after I had finished my homework. Deputy Barney Fife was the funniest character, but Sheriff Andy was the heart of the show. A single father raising his son in small town Mayberry, N.C., Andy often used homespun humor to impart wisdom. As a sheriff, he never carried a gun. As a dad, he never raised his voice. If he had a boy with autism, I have a feeling he would have been just as good a dad as he was with Opie. I could just picture him picking up his guitar, singing a song, and connecting with his son. And then they would go fishin'.
1. Heathcliff Huxtable – The Cosby Show: Who wouldn’t want Bill Cosby as a father? He’s warm, funny, and loving. As Cliff Huxtable, he taught his kids right from wrong, and personal responsibility, all while making you laugh. When his son on the show, Theo, was found to have dyslexia, Cliff held him to high expectations, not letting him use his learning disorder as an excuse. A great model for us dads, he would have been a wonderful father to a child with autism, or any kid for that matter.
On this Mother’s Day, here are my selections of the Top 5 Moms in television history, and my thoughts on how they would have handled being a parent of a child with autism. Let’s see if you agree:
5. June Cleaver – Leave It To Beaver: Do you younger parents even know who June Cleaver is? When I was a young child, I watched reruns of Leave It To Beaver every afternoon. It was my mom’s favorite show back then because it presented the idyllic household of the time. June Cleaver was the quintessential ‘50s era stay-at-home mom who kept a clean house and had dinner ready, all while wearing pearls, a dress, and perfectly coiffed hair. A more pleasant person you will never meet. Especially in the real world.
I’m guessing that most June Cleavers of that era had never even heard of autism. And, while it is hard to picture her with a child who had autism, I do think she would have been very nurturing. Hmm, and think of what ‘The Beaver’ would have been like if he had autism. He might have been even more precious than he already was.
4. Marion Cunningham – Happy Days: “Mrs. C” was a kookier version of the ‘50s era mom, though she was actually a creation of the ‘70s. Similar to June Cleaver with her tidy house and nice clothes, Marion was more likely to let her hair down, metaphorically at least. Always sweet, she was wiser than she initially came across. As with June Cleaver, it is hard to picture her as the mom of child with autism. Though if she could be a mother figure for The Fonz, you figure that she would have been able to deal with autism. She certainly would have had more patience than “Mr. C”.
3. Lorelei Gilmore – Gilmore Girls: No, I did not watch Gilmore Girls. No self-respecting guy would ever admit to that. But, I heard that Lorelei was a single mom who had an extremely quick wit and could banter with the best of them. Her sense of humor would serve her well if she were faced with autism. And she always fought hard for her daughter, Rory, another vital characteristic of an autism mom. What a great show! I mean, I heard it was a great show.
2. Clair Huxtable – The Cosby Show: Bill Cosby’s tv wife was smart, tough, and funny. A professional woman who was capable of handling any situation, she was a no-nonsense mom who kept her kids, and most especially, her husband in line. If her son Theo had autism, I imagine that she would always know what to do. I certainly wouldn’t want to be on the other side of the table from her during an IEP meeting. She would be fearsome.
1. Debra Barone – Everybody Loves Raymond: Perhaps the most realistic mom on my list, Debra Barone had to put up with her lunkheaded husband Raymond and excessively intrusive in-laws. Often frazzled and quick to get upset, she was both tough and loving and ultimately worked everything out. I think she comes closest to representing the real-life autism mom. If she could deal with Raymond and his family, she could deal with anything.
That is my list. What is yours?
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms! But most especially to my wife, who is better than any tv mom could ever be. Kai, and I, are lucky to have you in our lives.
