Joy at the Pool Not Just From a Jump in the Water

When we reconnected with old friends last month, Kai and Timothy decided that they wanted to get together for playdates. And their moms have arranged just that.

A week ago Friday, Kai went over to Timothy’s house and had a great time. This past Friday Timothy came over to our house.

They played on the Wii and with plushies, and then my wife took them over to our neighborhood swimming pool.

At this pool, kids have to take a swim test on their first visit to show whether they can be allowed into the deep area of the pool. Kai was familiar with the test from previous summers and he passed easily. Timothy had a harder time following the lifeguard’s instructions and kept putting his feet down and touching the bottom instead of swimming.

Kai tried to explain to the lifeguard. “He has autism,” he said, in trying to get the lifeguard to give his friend more time. Eventually Timothy did pass the test and they were able to play together on the deep side.

My wife reported that while they didn’t exactly play with each other the way typical kids do, Kai did a nice job of trying to engage with Timothy, often calling out to him and encouraging him to come over to him. Kai’s favorite thing was doing cannonballs into the pool with his friend.

Kids with autism often struggle with taking the perspective of someone else or thinking of others. But at the pool, my wife said that Kai showed concern for Timothy’s older brother Benjamin, who also has autism. When Kai and Timothy went to another part of the pool to go down a slide, Kai asked his mother to stay with Benjamin in the deep area to make sure he would be okay.

The boys had a great time splashing, sliding, swimming.

But for us parents, our greatest pleasure came from the little things that happened there, the signs of progress we saw with Kai. He communicated, he engaged, and he thought of others.

And that brings us as much joy as a well executed cannonball.

Hope you are off to a good summer, too!