Mother's Day - 2018

We've been slowing giving Kai more chores at home and trying to teach him independence skills, so Mother's Day was a good occasion to try teaching him how to make pancakes for breakfast.

He did fine with stirring the pancake mix and water together.

But had a little trouble with the flipping part.

Still, we had a couple of good pancakes for Mom (while I ate the ones that didn't come out as good) and it was a small step toward building a repertoire of meals he can make on his own.

My wife said that what she really wanted for Mother's Day this year was to have the inside of her car cleaned. So, I taught Kai how to wipe down the dash and other parts of the interior, vacuum the floors, and wash the floor mats.

Late in the afternoon, we went back to King Spa, where we went a couple of months ago when our hot water heater went out. At that time, both Kai and my wife enjoyed it very much and my wife said she wanted to return for Mother's Day.

The last time we came, my wife did not have a massage as we did not know how long Kai would tolerate the place. But after seeing how long he wanted to stay in the bath area last time, my wife decided that she could enjoy a 90-minute body scrub and massage this time.

So while she was doing that, Kai and I went to the men's side and soaked alternatively in the really hot tub and the cold one. The cold one feels way too cold at first, but after a good hot soak it is very refreshing. And conversely, cooling off enables you to return to the hot side for a few minutes before it becomes too hot and you need to cool again.

We stayed in the bath area for over an hour, and then put on clothes to come out to the coed area where there are several dry hot rooms where you can lay down and relax. Kai didn't particularly want to stay in those too long so I had him wait in the lounge where he could use his iPhone while I tried a few more rooms.

And then Mom came out and we met up to have dinner at the Korean restaurant on the premise. My wife said that she really enjoyed the scrub/massage and she seemed really relaxed.

We ordered fried dumplings and Korean vegetarian "pancake" for appetizers.

For the main dishes, my wife had Soon Tofu, a Korean soup made with kimchi. Kai had kalbi beef. And I had grilled eel.

Everything was delicious!

It was a lot of food for us, but we saved room for dessert. We shared a strawberry shaved milk ice.

The shaved ice was different than the kind we had in Hawaii last summer; the ice was so soft that you weren't sure it was really ice. It tasted really yummy!

And so this Mother's Day had some things for Mom and some learnings for Kai. All in all a good day.

Mother's Day

As Kai has been getting an allowance for nearly a year now, I wanted him to get something for Mom for Mother's Day using his own money. The goal was to get him to think of someone other than himself, and learn to be generous.

I brought up the idea a couple of weeks ago and he did not like it. "You're stressing me out!"

I explained to him all that Mom does for us and that he should show appreciation for it. I told him that the money he earns should not be just for getting plushies, but for getting something for someone else, like on Mother's Day.

He grumbled, but each time I brought it up he grumbled a little less. The day before Mother's Day, I told him that we would go to a store after our weekly trip to the library. I asked him if we preferred to go to Walgreen's or Target, and he picked Walgreen's. I suspect it was because he knew there would be very inexpensive items there.

So we went to Walgreen's and he scanned through the cosmetics aisle. Well, after he checked the toy aisle first, but he knew that he shouldn't give Mom a Pokemon or anything like that. Small victory.

He looked at all the different lipstick for sale and I could tell that he wanted to find the cheapest one. He finally asked where they carry the lip balm. We went over to a different aisle and I found a lip balm that was more colorful and interesting than Chapstick. If he was going to get something like that, maybe this would be a nice one. He liked that it was under $5.

I had him take it over to the cashier and pay for it himself with his allowance money. It was a good thing that there was no one in back of us in line as he took his time trying to find exact change.

On Mother's Day morning, he gave Mom his handmade card...

And the lip balm. I had told my wife that I had gotten Kai to buy something for her with his own money so she should be really enthusiastic to show him how much she appreciated him thinking of her.

Hopefully, over time and through many experiences like this, he will learn the pleasure of giving to others.

Later in the day we went for a nice walk with Simba. My wife is becoming a real dog whisperer and is getting dogs to walk very nicely with her without pulling or stopping to sniff.

In the afternoon, Kai and I worked on making a Mother's Day dessert. At the library, he found a Pokemon Cookbook. For our first try, we decided to make Pokeballs out of gelatin and plain yogurt.

Alas, the red side of the ball was supposed to be made with strawberry jam and we used jelly so it did not hold together in a ball shape like it was supposed to. Next time we will use jell-o.

For dinner, we went to a Japanese restaurant that we had never gone to before. Izakaya Sankyu is a bit different from most Japanese restaurants around here. Their menu is like an izakaya in Japan, where Japanese businessmen go after work to drink and eat small tapas-like dishes. This place had a large variety of small plates to choose from. We had beef tongue, takoyaki (ball-shaped, made with octopus), yakitori (grilled chicken), spicy chicken wings, fish, mushrooms, and several other things. We finished up with ochazuke (rice mixed with tea and other toppings).

They also had regular entrees and sushi like any other Japanese restaurant, but we stuck with the more traditional izakaya food. Everything was delicious, but the service was pretty bad. The place was packed for Mother's Day and they seemed overwhelmed. It took a long time for them to take our orders and to serve the food. They took several of our plates to the wrong table before my wife noticed the confusion at the other table and told them it was our order. We also had to get used to sitting on the floor (though they had regular tables with chairs as well). But overall, it was worthwhile going there.

So we had a nice Mother's Day. Hope you did, too!

A Happy Mother’s Day

We started out Mother’s Day with our usual weekend run first thing in the morning. Then we gave Mom our cards and a present.

After breakfast, Kai and I washed her car.

Though I think Kai soaked himself with the bucket of soapy water more than he soaked the car.

Ha, I guess he still has sensory issues. It reminded us that when Kai was much younger, we used let him rub shaving cream all over his body and he enjoyed sliding around on the floor.

After that we went out for lunch at one of our favorite hot dog/Mexican joints. Then, while Kai went to his exercise group, my wife and I took in a flea market.

For dinner, we had tentatively planned on taking Kai to his first Greek restaurant, but we were still feeling heavy from lunch so we decided to go to a Japanese restaurant instead.

Kai had his favorites – miso soup, shrimp tempura, and pieces of shrimp and octopus sushi. My wife and I each had the miso soup, gomae (spinach with sesame dressing), and sashimi plate.

When we got home, Kai whined just a bit when I asked him to play piano.

“But, Dad, it’s Mother’s Day>”

Yes, that’s right. It is not Kid’s Day, it’s Mother’s Day, so you should play extra nice for Mom.

He grumbled a bit more, but he played.

And overall he did very little grumbling.

It really was a very happy Mother’s Day.

Hope yours was nice, too.

“All About Mom”

Kai made a mother’s day card at school.

My wife thought much of the sentiments that Kai filled out were funny…

I think her favorite part is “My mom is 21 (real life 49) years old.”

Here’s the back cover of the card (Excuse the spelling error)...

Wishing all of you moms out there a very happy Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day and Other Weekend Activities

It was another busy weekend.

I brought my dad over for another visit. Kai made it his mission to bring him up to speed on his latest collection, Trash Pack cards.



Of course it was Mother’s Day yesterday. Kai presented Mom with a hat and shirt that he had painted.



The three of us walked three dogs. I had the biggest dog, the Border Collie, Emi. Mom had the next biggest, the Cavalier King Charles, Momo. And, Kai had the smallest one, the Chihuahua, Shandy.



This weekend was the ice show that Kai and his special needs class has been practicing for. He ended up skating in three performances. Kai is in the purple shirt in the center.



The group performed a routine to the song We Are Family, and every member of the group wore a shirt that proclaimed a different member of the family. Some of the girls were Sister or Aunt. Some of the other boys were Brother, Uncle or Father. A few of the buddy skaters were Cousin.

Kai? He was Mother. Which I thought was odd, at first. I think whoever assigned the shirts didn’t realize that he was a boy. But given that it was Mother’s Day, I thought it was a nice tribute to Mom.



My sister and brother-in-law returned from their trip in time to join us for a Mother’s Day dinner at a teppanyaki restaurant. That is one of those Japanese steakhouses where the chef prepares the meal for you right at the table.

We had gone there once before, a couple years ago, and Kai’s lasting memory of that occasion was when the chef creates a huge flame at the table before cooking the meat. It’s intended to be exciting, but for my boy who is anxious about everything, all it did was get him scared. From the time the order taker first came to the table, he asked everyone, several times each, when the fire was going to happen.

And when it was finally time, he ran into Mom’s arms for safety.



But once that was over with, he enjoyed his meal.



I hope your weekend was just as nice!

Celebration Weekend

We often use positive reinforcement to encourage Kai to continue to perform well in areas that are a challenge for him. So, of course, we wanted to give him a big reward for achieving Level 3 at school last week.

This weekend, we traveled to Wisconsin for an overnight visit to a waterpark.

Kai loved the idea of staying at a motel, but I don’t think he was particularly excited about going to the waterpark itself.

Before we went to the waterpark, we took a quick look around the town of Lake Geneva. Kai especially enjoyed the blue sorbet. Here he is showing how his tongue matches his hat and jacket.

Then, we went to the waterpark. We were deflated when Kai was too scared to go on any slides. He has become a pretty good swimmer and does well in the pool when he is under the supervision of his swim instructor. But he seems to lose all of his confidence, and abilities, when he is in the water with us.

I finally coaxed him to go down a very small slide, one for much younger kids. And even on that one, he kept grabbing the sides to keep from going fast, or, at least as fast as you can go on a baby slide.

He then asked for a life jacket. At first, I refused, as he certainly knows how to swim well enough that he shouldn’t need one in such shallow water where he can touch the bottom of the pool.

But I finally relented when I decided that I’d rather he wore it and had fun than be anxious the whole time.

And after that, he seemed more comfortable on the baby slide.

At this waterpark, the next slide up from the baby slide is a very high, long, winding slide that you ride down while sitting in an inner tube. I first figured that there was no way we were going to get Kai to try that.

But my wife and I wanted to try it so we rode down together while Kai watched. It was really fun, and I thought that Kai might actually like it if we could only get him to try it.

And so, I decided to try to coax him to go down one time.

I conferred with my wife, and then we made an offer. Kai would get one of his beloved Icky Stikeez if he went down the big long slide just once.

He was scared. But he wanted the prize. And when we reassured him that he would be safe, he finally agreed to try.

It was a long walk up to the top of the slide.

When we reached the starting point, Kai slowly sat in front of the two-person inner tube. He was apprehensive. He clutched the handles. And then we were off.

He screamed, but it sounded like it was as much because of joy than of fright.

And when we got to the bottom, he was laughing, and gleefully said that he wanted to do it again.

And we climbed back up to the top and did it again. And then he wanted to ride again, and again, and again, each time alternating between riding with me and riding with Mom.

At some point, he took off his life jacket, saying that he did not need it anymore.

My wife and I were exhausted from climbing the stairs over and over. But it was a good kind of exhaustion. Too often we are exhausted from trying to get Kai to do something with us on a vacation. This time, we were exhausted because he was doing it, and having such fun.

That night, we had dinner in our room while watching a dvd. It was a great time.

And then, the next morning, we went back to the waterpark again. And had just as much fun.

On our last run before we had to leave, Kai asked if he could go down in a tube by himself. We said sure, as we smiled at how his attitude toward waterslides had shifted from when we first got there the day before.

We were on this mini vacation because Kai had overcome some major hurdles at school. Now, on this trip, he overcame his fear and had a great time.

His accomplishment at school, followed up by the great time we had on this trip, was the best Mother’s Day present of all.

After his last run down the slide, Kai talked about how he wanted to come here again. He asked if we could come back when he made Level 4 at school. Of course, we said yes.

Level 4 will be another big challenge for him. But he is motivated. Let’s see what he can accomplish.

Kai’s Mother’s Day Thoughts

On this Mother’s Day, here are 13 things about Mom, from Kai. Gotta say that he is right on target with all of it.

Happy Mother’s Day to my wife, and to all of the moms out there!