After just a few minutes on the ice, he skated off. He said he did not want to do the practice routine. He just wanted to skate.
I had him get back on the ice. But it wasn’t all that long before he came off the ice again.
He was mad. He said he did not want to skate in the show.
I really don’t know what had changed from three weeks ago when he was so happy. I reminded him that he liked the music for the show. He said, “I HATE THAT MUSIC!”
I said he could take a two-minute break, then go back out there. But after two minutes, he still did not want to go out there.
I was regretting that we decided to let him skate in the show. But I didn’t want to back out now. It is looking like there are only six special needs kids participating, so they need every single one of them.
I decided that I needed to resort to a threat. I told him he had a choice. He could either skate now, or he could not skate and instead go to another fitness session with his swim instructor the next day and miss the NASCAR race. Well, I knew he did not want an extra workout, and he did not want to miss the race, so that finally got him on the ice.
Though he did not skate particularly nicely, at least he was out there.
After the practice, he had his regular skating class. He did not want to skate there either. While waiting for the skating class to begin, he was extremely crabby.
But his skating buddy, Erica, kept persisting and he finally went on the ice with her. At first, I could see his crabbiness continue. But the more he skated the more he seemed to enjoy it.
After the class ended, we had to stay several minutes extra as we waited to have the group photo taken for the ice show. Two years ago, I had to drag him screaming to the photo shoot. This year he calmly and patiently waited for his group to be called. I think the bowling app on my phone had a little something to do with it, but I was glad that his irritation from earlier had dissipated.
Unlike two years ago...
this time, he took his picture nicely...
And then was happy the rest of the weekend.
He even gladly went on a long walk with the dogs on the nice sunny day we had yesterday.
This morning, though, it was raining. And you know what that meant.
“Mom, I’m scared!”
Oh well, let’s see what his mood is like in a couple hours.
When I was Kai's age...I had, sometimes, felt mad without knowing why. I sometimes didn't want to do something that was planned. My father had basically said to me that... I didn't have to like it...I just had to do it. I, too, after a few minutes, started to enjoy the activity.
ReplyDeleteMy father was guiding me correctly, I had later realized. He was a good parent by forcing me to confront, and overcome, my anger or fears, so as to not miss out on life. I appreciate my father for caring enough to do this.
Kai will appreciate all that you are doing for him also. A parent guides his child in life...whether or not he likes it at the time. You are doing well in exposing Kai to growing experiences so he may learn to prioritize that which is ultimately right over his emotions at the time. Too many children are being incorrectly taught that their emotions are the most important thing...instead of doing what is right...no matter how they feel about it.
I know that there are issues which prohibit always enforcing this way with Kai. However, as I have read your many articles...you are doing the right things. I admire how well you are parenting Kai. Although you have to adapt the timing and way...you constantly strive to teach Kai the right thing.
I am just letting you know that Kai WILL appreciate your parenting, more and more, as time goes on. I know he appreciates it now...but he will appreciate it, even more so, as he matures.
From a Father... to a Father...Kudos to you.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and continuing support, Shiroi. It's not always easy to decide what we should do, but we always try to make decisions that are in Kai's long-term best interests, whether he likes it or not. :)
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