Motivated to Get in Shape

We took Kai to a new pediatrician a few weeks ago. He showed us an interesting chart that showed Kai’s height and weight at various ages. He told us that Kai was currently at the 30th percentile for height, and 80th percentile for weight. Not a good combination.

We have been aware for some time now that Kai was overweight. His diet has generally been pretty good – few processed foods, very little sodas and packaged juices, a good amount of vegetables and fruits, and desserts only on days that he has a lot of exercise – but he still has the bloated belly that he’s had all his life (and which is common in kids with autism).

Though I did find out at the doctor’s office that my wife had been taking Kai to McDonald’s three days a week when they did not have time to come home after school before he has to go to therapy. She decided that from now on, she would prepare something healthier for him to eat in the car.

We know that exercise is important, so we have tried to make sure he is physically active. He has his regular weekly swim lesson, weekly fitness group led by his swim instructor, his weekly boxing class (that is now on break for the summer), our weekend morning runs, and short exercises on weekday mornings.

But all that did not seem to be enough. We needed to do more.

We also decided that though we could try to do these things, it was important for Kai himself to want to embrace healthier habits.

And the best incentive to motivate him was to tie his fitness to the amount of time he could use the iPad.

My wife has a scale that measures body fat percentage in addition to a person’s weight. Since he is a growing boy, we thought that body fat percentage, rather than weight, would be the best measure. We decided that we would measure Kai’s body fat every week at the same time, on Saturday evenings after his bath, before dinner.

The first time we measured, he came out at 28.5% body fat. Not good at all.

That first week, he was very motivated – after all, his precious iPad time depended on it – and he voluntarily cut his portions.

“Dad, I’ll just have half of the pizza (instead of the usual amount).”

The following Saturday, we saw that his efforts paid off. He was down to 27.0%.

But the next week he slacked off. I think he thought that he would not have to keep working at it.

His body fat went right back up to where it was before.

So the third week he was again determined to lose the fat. He spoke to Mom about the “big test” that would be coming up. He wanted to eat less.

And on Saturday, when he stepped on the scale, he had his best showing yet.

Our goal for this is not so much for Kai to hit a particular number. Rather, it is to instill in him good eating, exercise, and lifestyle habits that will hopefully stay with him for the rest of his life.

Hopefully he won’t just rollercoaster, going down one week only to go back up the next. It will probably take a lot of persistence on our part to keep him focused on the big picture.

But for his long-term health, it is critical to build good habits from an early age. Let’s see how we do.

A Splashing Good Time

I had planned on taking Kai running yesterday morning. Although he has been doing more exercises with Mom lately, it has been a long time since he and I were running regularly. So soon after he woke up, I asked him if he would go running with me and he agreed.

But by the time I got home from the gym after my workout, he had changed his mind.

“My stomach hurts,” he said.

I pretty much figured that was just an excuse, but after our experience at the waterpark a few weeks ago, I decided not to push it. Even if he didn’t throw up, I didn’t have the energy for enduring the ordeal that surely would have ensued had I tried to get him to run when his heart wasn’t in it.

So, instead, we joined Mom as she took the dogs out for a walk.

I took the leash for Taro, a puppy Poodle, while my wife walked with Haribo, the tiny Chihuahua. Sometimes Kai likes to hold a leash but on this day he just wanted to walk without holding a dog.

We had had a lot of snow in our area over the past few weeks, but warmer weather this weekend meant that it was starting to melt.

There were many large puddles along our walking trail.

Haribo is a little princess when it comes to getting her tiny paws wet; she halts and waits for my wife to pick her up and carry over puddles of water or mounds of snow.

Taro, on the other hand, is a true little boy, who loves splashing through the water.

The first time Taro ran through a puddle, Kai laughed and then joyously joined in.

I normally scold Kai about going through a puddle when he could easily step around.

But I saw the joy in his face, and spotted an opportunity.

Rather than restraining Taro, I ran with him as he pulled me to the next puddle. Kai eagerly followed. And he was laughing the whole time.

And then it was on to the next puddle.

Running, splashing, laughing.

And when we got too far ahead, we waited for Mom and Haribo to catch up.

I got Kai to do the equivalent of wind sprints, but he didn’t mind at all. We probably ran further and faster than if we had just gone running as I had originally planned.

By the time we got home, both dog and boy were soaking wet from the legs down. But both were very happy.



Later, Kai figured out that he had done exercise.

“Dad, I ran a lot this morning.”

He wanted little Trashie toy that I would have given him had he gone running.

I told him that he doesn’t earn a reward for just having fun. He seemed okay with that.

After all, it was a lot of fun.

For me, too.

Motivated by Trashies

7AM yesterday morning, a Sunday morning mind you, my son was up and knocking on our bedroom door.

I was still tired from my business trip and was hoping to sleep in a little longer, but I guess I should have been thankful that Kai waited even until 7:00 to wake us up. I went out into the hallway to see what was up.

“Dad, we have to go running right now!”

It was about nine months ago that Kai was motivated to run by the incentive of collecting cute/gross little rubbery creatures known as Ickee Stickeez. Alas, there were only 24 of those and when Kai had collected them all, his motivation to run ended.

This weekend, Kai discovered another set of cute/gross little rubbery creatures. These are called the Trash Pack, and unlike with Ickee Stickeez, the folks behind these Trashies know how to market to kids, having developed accessories and games to go with the little guys.

When Kai develops a hankering for something, he wants to collect them all. And with already several dozen Trashies on the market, this should keep him motivated for quite a long time.

So on Sunday morning, Kai was ready to go running. He had heard that a storm was forecasted so he wanted to get out early.

“Come on, Dad. We have to go before the storm comes.”

We got dressed and went out. As he is older and has grown since last year, I extended the route a little bit.

Kai groaned and complained that he was tired and could not make it. I was frustrated, but kept encouraging him. And while I was tempted to withhold his prize, I gave it to him but told him he would have to show improvement in his next run.

A few hours later, he wanted to go running again. He wanted to earn another Trashie.

One run a day is enough, I told him. But he was persistent.

“What if I exercise? I’ll do 50 sit-ups and 20 pushups and 25 jumping jacks.”

Hmm, I had been wanting to get him to exercise more.

50 jumping jacks, not 25. And you have to do everything nicely for it to count.

We started with the jumping jacks. His coordination is not good. And he doesn’t stretch out his arms very far.

We stopped him several times as my wife and I tried to explain what he needed to do. Finally, he did them a little better.

Next it was sit-ups.

He could barely get off the ground from a flat surface. My wife told him to lean back against his big blue pillow. Then he was able to do 50.

Finally, pushups.

This was the hardest of all. There was no way he could do ten, let alone 20.

My wife tried to show Kai how to do it with his knees on the floor. But somehow he could not do it. He moved his head up and down but not his body. His hands were in the wrong position. He didn’t extend his body as far as he should.

It was frustrating that he didn’t seem to listen to us. And the more we told him, the more frustrated and angry he became.

We decided to find a different exercise to replace the pushups.

I found a couple of low-weight dumbells (two and a half pounds each). I showed him how to lift them by extending his arms from his shoulders to straight up overhead. He did ten of those.

And then he did ten curls.

It was a minor ordeal, but he had earned his second Trashie of the day.

A couple hours later, he wanted to do more exercises.

I could see where this was going. No, we are not going to work out several times a day, I told him.

He was mad. This is a boy who still does not tolerate waiting very well, and the thought of waiting another day to earn another Trashie was tough.

“That’s too long! It will take forever for me to earn them!”

Eventually, he calmed down and we enjoyed the rest of our Sunday.

And this morning, as I was getting ready to go to work at 6:45, I heard the thumping of a boy doing jumping jacks.

Two Tough Hours

I have been trying to keep our New Year resolution to have Kai exercise more. We don’t have time to run very often, but I have been trying to get Kai out at least a couple times per week.

The last time we went, he ran nicely, staying on pace and not complaining one time. So, I was hopeful as we departed to go to the Rec Center yesterday.

He seemed to be in a good mood, not whining about going like he sometimes does. And we even got through having him tie his own shoelaces (with a little help) without too much difficulty.

The Rec Center is only about a mile from our house as the crow flies, but to drive there you have to make two left turns at busy intersections. When a large number of cars are lined up to turn, you may have to wait through a couple of light changes, with a long wait in between each time.

As we were stopped at one light for what seemed forever, Kai’s throat-clearing tic, which has returned in recent weeks, got particularly vociferous. It was a sign that he was feeling anxious.

The short drive to the Rec Center easily took 15 minutes and Kai’s mood had changed dramatically in that time. It took a long time just to get him to walk from the car into the building.

We wanted to start stretching, but he said he had to use the bathroom first. As it was a one-person-at-a-time men’s room, we had to wait for someone to come out before he could go in. And when it was Kai’s turn, he entered and started screaming.

I went in to see what the problem was. He said he hated this bathroom because it was dirty. In actuality, it wasn’t really dirty at all, though it was a bit stinky. He started to pee, but was shaking his you-know-what in anger, spraying his own pee around the edge and outside of the bowl.

Of course, I had him clean it up (though I had to clean it up afterward to get it really clean).

By this time, my hopes of running were dim, but since we were there I still wanted to try.

My wife was calmer than I was and she led us in our stretching. But Kai whined that he did not want to run.

I could see that we were not going to run this day, and told him that we would leave. But I added that he would not be allowed to watch any videos or use the iPad the rest of the day, as he had not given a good effort. He did not like that idea, so he insisted that he would run.

We walked one lap to warm up. But when it was time to start running, he again said that he did not want to.

I threw him his coat and told him that we were leaving. He would not have any video time.

He started yelling that he would run, but we told him that it was too late. He had a chance and did not run. There would be no more chances on this day.

We drove home, arriving about an hour after we had started out, having accomplished nothing but getting everyone upset.

And then it was time to do homework, which he refused to do for quite awhile, even tearing up the paper at one point. Eventually, he did his homework. It took about five minutes to do, just a fraction of the time he spent complaining about it.

It was a draining couple of hours.

And I question whether it is worth trying to do the whole Family Run thing if he hates it so much. On one hand, the confluence of the light signals and stinky bathroom may have just been too much to overcome and we should try again. But I know that he doesn’t really enjoy running, even when I get him to do it.

Perhaps I need to try something else. Or maybe change my approach.

Though the whole thing is tiring to think about right now.

Dad’s New Year Resolution

Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? Have you broken them yet?

One of the most common resolutions is to exercise more and lose weight. And I am among those who have made that resolution. Except that I did not make it for myself.

I made it for my son…

Read the full article in the Patch. Click here.