We often wonder if we should continue with the piano lessons, but Kai performed nicely at his piano recital earlier this week.
Showing posts with label piano lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label piano lessons. Show all posts
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Kai’s Second Piano Recital
A year ago, Kai performed his first piano recital. Ahead of the big event, my wife and I were very nervous. Not so much about how well Kai would play, but whether he would be able to play at all. We were stressed over whether he would get irritated about something and have some type of public meltdown.
As it turned out, he did not have any issues, and ended up playing beautifully, too.
I suppose it is a sign of progress that this year we were far less concerned about the potential for any behavior issues.
However we were concerned about the quality of his play.
He would perform two songs this year. And in the days leading up to the recital, Kai could not seem to get either one right. He has been more silly and hyper than usual recently, something his school noticed as well, and his piano practices suffered from his lack of seriousness and concentration.
At the recital, he made a mistake right at the outset. But he knew to keep going. He made a few more errors. It wasn’t his best performance. But he played better on his second song than on his first. He was one of the few students who remembered to take a bow at the end. All in all, it was not too bad.
Though it’s not always top-of-mind with us, the reality is that Kai has raised the bar with us, not just in his piano skills, but in his ability to cope and get through life.
And when I see it like that, this performance, though flawed, was a triumph nonetheless.
Good job, Kai.
As it turned out, he did not have any issues, and ended up playing beautifully, too.
I suppose it is a sign of progress that this year we were far less concerned about the potential for any behavior issues.
However we were concerned about the quality of his play.
He would perform two songs this year. And in the days leading up to the recital, Kai could not seem to get either one right. He has been more silly and hyper than usual recently, something his school noticed as well, and his piano practices suffered from his lack of seriousness and concentration.
At the recital, he made a mistake right at the outset. But he knew to keep going. He made a few more errors. It wasn’t his best performance. But he played better on his second song than on his first. He was one of the few students who remembered to take a bow at the end. All in all, it was not too bad.
Though it’s not always top-of-mind with us, the reality is that Kai has raised the bar with us, not just in his piano skills, but in his ability to cope and get through life.
And when I see it like that, this performance, though flawed, was a triumph nonetheless.
Good job, Kai.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Kai’s First Piano Recital
It is a testament to Kai’s overall progress that my wife and I decided to let him perform in a piano recital. But it speaks to how far he still needs to go that we were very nervous about how it would turn out.
Kai has been taking piano lessons for over four years now. When we first decided to sign him up for lessons, I think my wife was hoping that he would turn out to be a piano prodigy. At that point in Kai’s development, with his struggles in behavior and school, I think she was hoping to find something that he would be particularly good at.
Alas, Kai did not possess extraordinary talents at playing the piano. And in the subsequent months and years, there were several times when my wife wanted to stop the lessons as Kai too often resisted practicing, gave his instructor a difficult time, or just goofed around instead of playing nicely. I didn’t want to see him quit; not because I thought he could ever become a virtuoso, but because I hate to see him quit at anything.
With a little encouragement from me, but mostly from rebuilding her own resolve, my wife pressed forward each time with teaching Kai how to play the piano. The teacher came over once a week and patiently taught Kai how to play. But I have no doubt that my wife’s persistence and instruction during the week was just as much of the reason for Kai’s progress.
Two years ago, Kai’s teacher held a recital for his students. At that time, we did not want to take the risk of signing him up to perform. But we nervously attended with Kai so we all could see what it was like.
At that recital, we weren’t sure how long Kai would sit still so we talked to him about proper behavior, and then grabbed a seat near the back in case we needed to make a quick getaway.
Almost immediately as the first child started to play, Kai started to fuss.
“I can’t see!”
I tried to shush him but he persisted. When that child finished playing, we got up out of our seats and found an open area near the front, off to the side, where we could sit on the floor and clearly see the performer.
And there we sat where Kai politely, well, mostly, watched the performers. He had done okay watching. Perhaps one day he would play.
This year, his teacher asked if we would like Kai to perform in the recital. Hmm, could he handle the pressure? Would some little thing set him off and cause a public meltdown?
We decided to go for it.
He chose one of his favorite songs to play, Night of the Tarantella.
The practices in the past couple of weeks gave us more cause for concern. My wife was constantly pointing out the things he needed to do better.
“The first part is staccato; you have to play with more force.”
“Don’t play too fast.”
“Don’t forget to press the pedal.”
“Hold the last note for five seconds.”
Kai doesn’t take criticism well. He gets angry when anyone points out something he is doing incorrectly. And so, these practices have been stressful. And as a result, our stress about what would happen at the recital grew as well.
The day of the recital finally arrived.
This morning, Kai was grumpy at his ice skating class, complaining that his ankle was hurting. When he came home, he barely said much to his grandmother who telephoned. He later got upset when he thought he lost a piece to a new game he got for his birthday.
All the makings of a disaster were in place.
After lunch, we drove to the site of the recital and got there a few minutes early. Kai got a chance to try out the keys and pedals of the unfamiliar piano.
He would be the fourth performer. Kai sat nicely as he listened to the first three kids.
And then it was his turn…
He did well. Ha, he even held that last note!
My wife and I simultaneously breathed a huge sigh of relief and beamed big smiles.
Great job, Kai! We are very proud.
Kai has been taking piano lessons for over four years now. When we first decided to sign him up for lessons, I think my wife was hoping that he would turn out to be a piano prodigy. At that point in Kai’s development, with his struggles in behavior and school, I think she was hoping to find something that he would be particularly good at.
Alas, Kai did not possess extraordinary talents at playing the piano. And in the subsequent months and years, there were several times when my wife wanted to stop the lessons as Kai too often resisted practicing, gave his instructor a difficult time, or just goofed around instead of playing nicely. I didn’t want to see him quit; not because I thought he could ever become a virtuoso, but because I hate to see him quit at anything.
With a little encouragement from me, but mostly from rebuilding her own resolve, my wife pressed forward each time with teaching Kai how to play the piano. The teacher came over once a week and patiently taught Kai how to play. But I have no doubt that my wife’s persistence and instruction during the week was just as much of the reason for Kai’s progress.
Two years ago, Kai’s teacher held a recital for his students. At that time, we did not want to take the risk of signing him up to perform. But we nervously attended with Kai so we all could see what it was like.
At that recital, we weren’t sure how long Kai would sit still so we talked to him about proper behavior, and then grabbed a seat near the back in case we needed to make a quick getaway.
Almost immediately as the first child started to play, Kai started to fuss.
“I can’t see!”
I tried to shush him but he persisted. When that child finished playing, we got up out of our seats and found an open area near the front, off to the side, where we could sit on the floor and clearly see the performer.
And there we sat where Kai politely, well, mostly, watched the performers. He had done okay watching. Perhaps one day he would play.
This year, his teacher asked if we would like Kai to perform in the recital. Hmm, could he handle the pressure? Would some little thing set him off and cause a public meltdown?
We decided to go for it.
He chose one of his favorite songs to play, Night of the Tarantella.
The practices in the past couple of weeks gave us more cause for concern. My wife was constantly pointing out the things he needed to do better.
“The first part is staccato; you have to play with more force.”
“Don’t play too fast.”
“Don’t forget to press the pedal.”
“Hold the last note for five seconds.”
Kai doesn’t take criticism well. He gets angry when anyone points out something he is doing incorrectly. And so, these practices have been stressful. And as a result, our stress about what would happen at the recital grew as well.
The day of the recital finally arrived.
This morning, Kai was grumpy at his ice skating class, complaining that his ankle was hurting. When he came home, he barely said much to his grandmother who telephoned. He later got upset when he thought he lost a piece to a new game he got for his birthday.
All the makings of a disaster were in place.
After lunch, we drove to the site of the recital and got there a few minutes early. Kai got a chance to try out the keys and pedals of the unfamiliar piano.
He would be the fourth performer. Kai sat nicely as he listened to the first three kids.
And then it was his turn…
He did well. Ha, he even held that last note!
My wife and I simultaneously breathed a huge sigh of relief and beamed big smiles.
Great job, Kai! We are very proud.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Consequences
After our amazing experience at the pumpkin festival the night before, we had planned to continue our Halloween-themed weekend with a visit to a nearby pumpkin farm on Sunday afternoon.
It was a bright, sunny, and warm day. We could not have asked for a nicer day for our outing.
But before we were to go, we had some things to do on Sunday morning.
After breakfast, I went to the gym for a workout. When I returned, Kai’s piano teacher had already arrived for his weekly lesson. Kai was giving him a hard time.
Vlad is the most patient man I have ever met. He always encourages Kai and never raises his voice at him, no matter how uncooperative Kai is.
My wife was trying to get Kai to listen to Vlad and do as he instructed. Kai kept moaning that he was too tired and did not want to play the piano.
I told Kai that he perhaps he was too tired to go to the pumpkin farm, too, then.
I thought that this threat would be motivating enough for Kai to finally cooperate. He had been looking forward to our annual visit to the pumpkin farm for weeks.
I went to take a shower. And when I came out, I was disappointed to find that Kai’s behavior had not improved.
Vlad had just left. And my wife had told Kai that our fun afternoon would be cancelled.
Kai was not happy.
At first he was mad. We told him it was his own action that caused this to happen.
Then, he tried to bargain. He would play the piano now and then we could still go. Too late, we said.
We told him that if he behaved well all week and then played piano nicely with his teacher next Sunday, there was still one more chance to go before Halloween. But if it was a rainy day next week, we would not go.
Well, he was mad enough that he could not go on that day, but the thought that he might not go at all made him really upset.
He alternatively ranted, pleaded, and whined.
We did not give in.
My wife got tired of hearing this and left the room.
I went away for a little while as well. When I returned, Kai kept persisting. I spoke to him calmly that he has to make good choices, and he does not always get a second chance.
After a long time, he finally calmed down. He came over to give me a hug.
We played some games. We read. And in the afternoon we drove over to a nearby forest preserve for a walk in the woods.
I was glad to get out and enjoy the beautiful afternoon. But it wasn’t the same as going to the pumpkin farm. Especially for Kai.
This Sunday, we hope to get to the farm. Kai has been very well behaved all week. I suspect that he will play piano wonderfully with his instructor.
It is expected to be 25 degrees colder than it was last weekend. But, if we go, I have a feeling it will a good time.
Here’s hoping.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
“My Dad Always Tells Me Never to Quit”
When he wants to quit, it is not like Kai comes to us and calmly tells us that he is getting tired of the activity or that he’d rather do something else. No, instead he makes a public spectacle, throwing himself on the ground and screaming at us in front of other parents. He will shout that he hates soccer (or whatever) and that he is never doing it again.
On the occasions that I am with him when he does this, I tell him that he can take a break to calm down, but that he is not going to quit. I try to empathize with him about whatever struggles he is having on that particular day, and explain that if he quits, he will never overcome his difficulties. I remind him of other activities that he wanted to quit, such as swimming, that he really hated at first, but grew to not only become competent at, but also truly enjoy. I repeat that he will not quit, and tell him that if he becomes a quitter, he will never get anywhere in life.
Usually my words seem to have no impact on him as the spectacle continues for quite awhile. He almost never continues the activity nicely on that day. I’ve often wondered if my words had any effect on him at all.
It is not easy to deal with Kai when he is like this, and, at times, it gets to be too much for my wife. She has become frustrated and at various times said that we should stop the piano lessons, karate, and swim lessons. Each time I’ve implored her to continue, at least for a while. If we are to stop an activity, I want it to be on our terms, not because Kai raised a huge ruckus and said he was quitting.
This past Friday, Kai played piano nicely for his teacher. Then, Saturday morning, with my father-in-law in the stands watching for the first time, he did his best ice-skating ever as his skating class has started up again. He followed that up with a really good effort at his karate class. Then, in the afternoon, he had his best soccer game. Kai scored four or five goals, but what I was happy about was that he played with enthusiasm and ran up and down the field throughout the whole game.
Driving home from the game, with my father-in-law sitting next to me in the front seat, I heard him talking with Mom in the back seat. My wife mentioned how another boy did not participate much this week because he had gotten upset about something, much like Kai had a few weeks ago.
Kai then said, “My dad always tells me never to quit.”
I could hardly believe my ears. I actually had to confirm it with my wife later to make sure that I heard that correctly. But, yes, that is what he said.
What a revelation. Though I did not know it, I guess he sometimes listens to me after all.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A Pleasant Piano Lesson
My son’s piano teacher came over the other day and Kai played nicely. That is a first.
When Kai’s teacher arrives for the lesson each week, the usual routine has been that Kai runs away to hide in the family room. Then, he acts silly and has to be dragged over to the piano. And when he does start playing, it is only a matter of time before he protests that he does not want to play any more.
So it was quite a surprise this week when Kai walked over to the piano on his own when his teacher came. It was shocking when he played nicely, without protest, a song that he had trouble with just the day before when practicing with Mom. And I almost fell out of my seat when it came time to learn a new song, and Kai paid attention to the teacher and then played the song well.
I really don’t know what caused the huge change. He has now been on a new medication for several weeks, one that the doctor said may take about that long to start working. So, we will be monitoring all of Kai’s activities closely to see if we notice other changes.
I hope this will not be a one-time phenomenon. But, I don’t want to get my hopes too high just yet.
We shall see.
When Kai’s teacher arrives for the lesson each week, the usual routine has been that Kai runs away to hide in the family room. Then, he acts silly and has to be dragged over to the piano. And when he does start playing, it is only a matter of time before he protests that he does not want to play any more.
So it was quite a surprise this week when Kai walked over to the piano on his own when his teacher came. It was shocking when he played nicely, without protest, a song that he had trouble with just the day before when practicing with Mom. And I almost fell out of my seat when it came time to learn a new song, and Kai paid attention to the teacher and then played the song well.
I really don’t know what caused the huge change. He has now been on a new medication for several weeks, one that the doctor said may take about that long to start working. So, we will be monitoring all of Kai’s activities closely to see if we notice other changes.
I hope this will not be a one-time phenomenon. But, I don’t want to get my hopes too high just yet.
We shall see.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Piano Lessons
The routine when the piano teacher comes over to our house is that as soon as Kai hears the doorbell ring, he runs over to the family room, launches himself onto the couch, and buries his head in a pillow cushion. As we call for him to come to the piano and greet Vlad, he laughs, acts silly, and refuses to come until we go over to the family room to get him. Then, we have to take his hand and pull him to the piano as he playfully resists.
Once he starts playing, it can be hit or miss as to whether he will play nicely or not. Sometimes he will only want to play either the right or left hand portion of the song and not both. Then we have to threaten, I mean encourage him to play nicely.
Through all this, his teacher is extremely patient, certainly far more than I am, as he tries to get Kai to play. And when Kai finally does play, Vlad has a gentle approach to showing him how to play the current piece.
But this constant fighting is taking a toll on my wife. Even Kai’s daily piano practices with mom are battles as he often whines that the piece is too hard or that he only wants to play once or that he wants to play only a portion of the song. My wife is getting close to stopping the lessons.
After all, is it really worth it if Kai is resisting so much?
I’d hate to give up just yet. When he does focus and cooperate, he plays nicely. And I am still hopeful that he will gain an appreciation for being able to sit down at the piano and play music. He loves music, and my hope is that as he gets older, he will enjoy playing by himself.
I wonder if there is something we can change. Kai has high levels of anxiety about so many things; it would not surprise me if part of his reaction is due to having anxiety about playing a seemingly difficult piece. Also, his attention span seems shorter these days. If we can correct that, perhaps it will make a difference. Or, maybe Kai needs an instructor who can better show him how fun it is to play music.
His teacher said that next time he would bring a different lesson book, one that has more songs that Kai is familiar with. Hopefully that will make a difference.
I don’t want the music to stop. But if we can't hear the music over all the whining, then what is the point?
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