The Day After (the wedding)

After my nephew's wedding and reception, we slept in and relaxed for a while before checking out.

The place where we stayed had a shuffleboard court so we tried it out.

Then we went to a brunch that my sister and brother-in-law were hosting for the relatives of both families.

The newlyweds were looking very happy!

The brunch was at winery outside of Williamsburg. We had a private room and the setting was perfect for a casual get-together where everyone could have a relaxed time after the big events and all the planning that had come before. We sat at one long table, and my sister decorated it with old collectible bottles that matched the atmosphere of the place.

All the food was good but the cupcakes, especially, were big favorites. They had about six different kinds and Kai chose the one with the chocolate frosting.

After everyone was finished eating, the newlyweds opened wedding presents. The following is a picture of a blanket that my wife lovingly knit for them.

After that, it was time to say goodbye. The bride and groom would be leaving on their honeymoon early the next morning, and everyone else were dispersing as well.

With Kai off for the week on spring break, we are traveling around the state and other nearby areas for the remainder of the week. We come to Virginia every year to visit my sister and her family, but this is the first time we will see some of the other parts of the state.

Our first stop was Richmond. After checking into our hotel, Kai and I used the swimming pool and hot tub. Then we took a little drive to see a few sights.

We drove past the capitol building, then drove down Monument Avenue which is a wide avenue with Confederate statues including Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, J.E.B. Stuart, and Stonewall Jackson.

Next we went to the Carytown section of Richmond, which has many small, very unique shops and restaurants. It was late on a Sunday so most of the places were shutting down when we got there, but we did get to see World of Mirth, a toy store with an usual selection. Kai's favorite was the plush body parts. (I especially liked the plush bladder).

For dinner, our choice was a southern-style restaurant where my wife had chicken and waffles. Kai had chicken tenders.

The vacation part of the week might be anticlimactic after starting off the trip with the wedding, but we hope to enjoy the sights we see.

We're Going to a Wedding! Part 2

We were in Williamsburg for my nephew's wedding. The ceremony wouldn't be until 4 pm so we had some free time before then.

We started out with breakfast at a southern-style restaurant. Kai only had garlic potatoes and baked apples.

When in the South... I had fried catfish, eggs, garlic potatoes, and corn bread.

We went to Colonial Williamsburg where they had a recreation of the 18th century town.

My wife and Kai still weren't 100% and wanted to save our strength for the wedding, so we did not stay too long. But we took a carriage ride so we could see more of the town.

We went back to the hotel to rest up for a bit, and then it was time to get ready for the wedding.

The ceremony was absolutely wonderful. The bride and her dress were stunning. My nephew was handsome and a proud groom. I loved that the ceremony was short and sincere; it was everything a wedding should be, and nothing more.

Kai, true to his word the evening before, was great. He was quiet, paid attention, and behaved perfectly.

And then came the fun part of the day, the wedding reception.

The bride and groom paid homage to my nephew's Japanese heritage by having a non-traditional guest book. Small wooden plaques called "ema" are used in Buddhist shrines in Japan to write messages to spirits and ancestors - and were used here to write well wishes to the happy couple. (We had arranged for my wife's dad to send the plaques over from Meiji Jingu in Tokyo as that was a place we have visited together with my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews four years ago.)

Ian's brother, Kiyoshi, was best man, and gave a very nice speech. My favorite part was when he told the story I had first heard in Hawaii last summer, about how my dad's friend Ernie gave my dad $5 to take out my mom for the first time. Without that, none of us likely would have been there that night. Kiyoshi said that sometimes it is the little things that make a big difference, and that he would be there to help the newly couple, as he was sure we all would be.

Kai's favorite part, though, was the dancing. Music had been playing for a while, and people had finished eating, but no one was dancing. He asked, "When does the dancing start?" And I told him that he could go ahead and dance. He was a bit tentative at first, but once Mom went out there with him, he loosened up.

From that point on, he was on the dance floor most of the rest of the night.

He paused only when for some wedding cake. (The bride and groom are both police officers).

And to pose for photos (here with my sister and nephew):

And here with the bride and groom.

And to have a doughnut...

But mostly he was just having fun!

As was everyone.

Weddings are happy times. And especially so for the families of the bride and groom.

My nephew is a good man, and I am thrilled that he is marrying a woman who seems to be the ideal partner for him. It was great to see Susan's family equally thrilled that she was marrying Ian. And for my sister and brother-in-law, it was an emotional time as their oldest child had passed a most momentous milestone.

In a much smaller way, the day was a bit of a milestone for us, too, as parents of Kai. Many times these happy occasions for others remind us of what may never come for Kai. But on this occasion, he showed some signs of beginning to grow up. And though he has a long way to go, the maturity he showed on this day is encouraging. Perhaps one day we can celebrate his own union with someone who loves him as much as Susan and Ian love each other. Ah, that would be something.

We're Going to a Wedding! Part 1

My oldest nephew was getting married and they planned to have the wedding during Kai's spring break. But even with that, early in the week we were concerned that we wouldn't make it.

Kai had gotten the flu.

His pediatrician put him on tamiflu and suggested that my wife and I call our doctor and get prescriptions for ourselves, which we did. My wife felt a bit under the weather but I was fine. Kai missed school all week, and by Friday, the day we were to leave, he and my wife were starting to feel better.

But he was still less energetic than usual, which might have worked in our favor when we went to the airport and the flight attendant was late in arriving at the gate so we could not board our plane on time. Kai hates flying on United after our awful experiences the last two times we took it, but he was too tired to complain about the delay this time.

But all things considered, our flight was not delayed too long and we made it to Virginia okay. The wedding was in Williamsburg, and the rehearsal dinner was that night.

It was great to see the bride and groom to be. They were looking relaxed the evening before the big event.

I had known Ian since he was a baby and he is the first of my next-generation relatives to get married. They say that parents always think of their children as children, even after they grow up. I can understand that feeling as it is hard to believe that Ian is all grown up. We are all very proud of the man he has become, but it is still easy to see the enthusiastic boyish spirit he showed from the time he was a small child.

Just prior to the dinner, the parents of the bride and groom gave speeches. I was especially touched by the sentiment's of the bride's mother who gave a very heartfelt speech. I was happy that she seemed very sincerely thrilled that her daughter was marrying my nephew. In many respects, you marry not just a person, but you marry into a family, and it is wonderful when the family is as welcoming as all of Susan's family are.

Here's my nephew with his mother, my sister.

During the entire dinner, including the cocktail hour when we were meeting Susan's family, Kai was quiet. He is not a social kid, especially around strangers, so he did not chat and gave just the bare minimum of responses when people spoke to him. But he was patient, did not complain about not getting to use electronics, and listened nicely to all of the speeches.

Still, I think he was happy when dinner was served.

I was thrilled that he was so well behaved and mature. There was no hint of a meltdown on this day.

My wife later told me that during the dinner, Kai had recounted our own wedding day when he was three years old. He had screamed and cried loudly during significant portions of our wedding ceremony. "I ruined your wedding" he said to my wife, and promised that he would not do the same here.

Celebrating Our Anniversary (Including Clips from Our Wedding Video)

It was our 10th anniversary as a family a few days ago. As it was a weekday/school night, we only had a small celebration that evening.

My sister had given us a really nice hand made album that included great photos from each of our 10 years which she creatively laid out throughout the album.

The next evening we went out for a celebratory dinner at a new Caribbean restaurant in our area. (El Buren in Highwood for you locals).

We started out with virgin piña coladas.

My wife had red snapper and Kai enjoyed a seafood entree.

I loved the jerk chicken that I had ordered.

We had seen pictures of the desserts so we saved room. Kai had this coconut cake.

He could only eat a few bites so my wife and I helped and then we took the rest home. I had the cheesecake. We did not have to take any of it home. :)

When we got home after dinner, we watched our wedding video. It has been many years since we watched it. The overriding sound you hear in the first part of the wedding ceremony is of Kai screaming, and it always made my wife too uncomfortable to watch that video.

Kai was only thee years old and our wedding day was not a happy time for him for much of the day. We now better understand how he has difficulty with any disruption in the routine. You can imagine how difficult our wedding day was for him.

We had the wedding at our house which we had bought a few months earlier. We thought that would be where Kai would be most comfortable. But his familiar house was not so familiar on that day. We had taken most of the furniture out of the family room to make room for the chairs where our guests would sit during the ceremony, and where tables would be set up during the reception dinner. Mom was out of the house for most of the morning getting herself ready for the wedding. Many strangers were streaming into the house including caterers, a photographer, and many guests who were unfamiliar to Kai. I was still relatively new in his life myself and had not yet fully bonded with him. So it was very understandable that he would get upset.

Our's was a do-it-yourself wedding in many respects. Besides having it in our home, I had asked my good friend Stuart to officiate the wedding. My nephews, who were in high school at the time, would play the music throughout the ceremony with their violin and viola. My wife's father had decorated sake boxes that we would use during the ceremony, as well as the ones that each guest would receive. My sister applied her artistic touch in creating the name and menu cards for the reception and helping to decorate the goodie bags for the guests.

The plan for the ceremony was that Kai's babysitter would sit with him in the front row, but be ready to take him to another part of the house if he started to get agitated.

Kai was okay for a little while.

But once Mom appeared, and walked down the aisle, Kai must have gotten upset. I'm still not exactly sure what happened, but our babysitter took Kai out of the family room. However, his screams loudly carried back to where we all were.

As Kai's screams continued throughout the first part of the ceremony, I could tell that my friend Stuart was distracted and wondering if he should press on or stop.



Fortunately, Kai eventually quieted down and we were able to complete the ceremony. This next clip is from the last portion of the ceremony.



Once the ceremony was over and he was reunited with Mom, Kai was a happy boy again.

The reception went very well. I know that I was more relaxed then - I think everyone was - and we all had a great time.



(Apologies for the poor quality of the videos. This was another do-it-yourself aspect of our wedding as I had placed a video camera up front. Though I neglected to tell my brother-in-law, the best man, about it. So, during much of the ceremony, he was standing right in front of the camera. Ooops! Still, because our photographer had captured all the right moments so well, I was able to splice his photos on top of the sound to recreate the occasion. The original video I made was of higher quality, but in editing out the clips above I could not find the original copy so had to use a copy of a copy and that made for the degradation of the video).

As the three of us watched the entire video the other night, the uncomfortable feeling that my wife had previously had seemed to be gone. We all able to laugh about Kai's screaming. Well, Kai may have been a bit embarrassed but I think he took it well overall. And seeing the photos of everyone brought back good memories, and melancholy ones as well in some cases.

10 years!?! Hard to believe!

Now wondering what the next ten will bring.

Then and Now: Wedding Day

Today’s Then and Now features a picture of my parents on their wedding day.

The thing that stands out in that picture is the big smile on my dad’s face. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen him smile like that.

The “Now” photo is actually from seven years ago today, when the three of us officially became a family.

Happy anniversary to my wife and son!

The Wedding

Kai attended his first wedding this weekend. Well, his first since our own, anyway. And, as all weddings should be, it was a memorable occasion.

We arrived at the church a little early and chatted with Kai’s grandparents for a few minutes and had our picture taken.



Then it was time to enter and find a seat. Kai occupied himself with his iPad while we waited.



I was very pleased when he put it away as soon as I told him that the ceremony was about to start.

He seemed very interested in seeing his grandparents walk down the aisle, followed by the bridal party. And he stood up nicely and paid attention when his aunt, the beautiful bride, made her way down the aisle.

For about 40 minutes, Kai was exceptionally well behaved.

He stood up when the minister asked us to, sat down when we all did, stayed quiet, and appeared to listen to what was said.

I asked him to pay particular attention when the bride and groom said their vows and exchanged rings. And he looked on as they lit the unity candle.

As I said, Kai was exceptionally well behaved for about 40 minutes.

Unfortunately, the ceremony was about an hour long.

When the minister asked us to stand once again for another prayer, Kai started grumbling.

“We have to stand again?!”

My wife and I did not try to get him to stand up. We just asked him to be quiet.

There were a lot of prayers and religious rituals.

“I’m getting tired!”

Kai laid down on the pew.

We asked him to sit up nicely.

“How much longer?”

I showed him the program. There would not be too much more.

He did not complain constantly, but often enough that my wife and I were on edge. We tried to keep him from getting too loud and disrupting the ceremony.

“Ohh, this is so boring!”

When the minister asked us to rise yet again, Kai had reached his limit.

“I want this to be over!”

And then it was over. We asked Kai to stand up one more time. But this time it was for the bride and groom as they walked back down the aisle to exit the church.

We didn’t stay to hobnob with the other guests. Kai could not wait to drag us out of the church.

We decided to go home and take a break before heading over to the reception.

At home, we told Kai he could relax and play for an hour. But after a half hour he wanted to head over to the reception. He did not want to miss anything.

We got there and found familiar faces. Everyone remarked about how handsome Kai looked and wanted to get their pictures taken with him.







Just when he started to get anxious about wanting to sit down, they announced that everyone should make their way to their tables.

There was a lot of activity before the food was served. There were introductions of the parents of the bride and groom, and of the bridal party. There were toasts and speeches. And there was the cutting of the cake.

But Kai waited nicely and did not fuss.

And then came the food. Lots of it. There were several courses.

Kai enjoyed a mushroom appetizer.



And he really loved the sorbet he got to eat before the main course.



And he enjoyed the singer who entertained while we all ate.

But the real fun for him started after dinner.

The DJ came on and played music. And everyone got up to dance.

Kai was eager to get on the dance floor.



And once he started dancing, he did not want to stop.



He even danced with the bride.



He paused his dancing just long enough to take pictures in the photo booth.





But then it was back to the dance floor.



We paused our dancing again when the dessert area was opened. And Kai enjoyed a variety of fruits and the gluten-free wedding cake.

But then it was back to dancing. Kai could have stayed at the reception all night, but my wife and I made the call to leave as we had dogs being dropped off at 6:30 AM the next morning.

As we were making our way out, Kai remarked, “This is the best party ever!”

It certainly was. And we will have fond memories for a long time.