New England Vacation – Day 6: A Leisurely Day

After a hectic first five days of our vacation, we wanted to have a more leisurely day. We had no reservations to keep or particular places we had to be.

We woke up a bit later, had breakfast, and then headed out to see more of the Cape. We started out by heading to a nearby fishing pier where we saw a family of seals enjoying a swim.

I told Kai that if he came back as an animal in his next life, I bet it would be as a seal as these guys seem to enjoy frolicking in the water, just like Kai does.

From there, we drove to find a better beach to visit. After all, you can’t go to Cape Cod without visiting a beach. Or so it seemed as there were hordes of visitors headed toward the beaches. A couple beaches were already filled to capacity, and others had long lines to get into the parking lot.

So we headed up to a more isolated spot on a high bluff where we could get a good view of the coastline.

In the early afternoon, we found a beach on the bay side that wasn’t overflowing with people. The water was calm and we were able to swim a little bit.

But in my mind, it wasn’t a “real” Cape Cod beach. So before we went back to our hotel, we went to a beach on the ocean side that we were able to get into. The waves were large and we didn’t go in too far nor stay very long, but we got to experience the power of the ocean while we were there.

After resting up back at our hotel, we went out for one more seafood dinner.

Kai filled up on steamed clams.

While my wife and I each had boiled lobster.

We’ve been making Kai keep a journal on this trip. Not one to be verbose when it comes to writing, he summarize this day as, “Today was a good day.”

New England Vacation – Day 5: Whale Watching

We must be optimistic parents.

How else to explain why we would choose to go on a 3-hour boat ride with Kai when it had every possibility that it could be a disaster?

It was only a few months ago, during our spring break vacation to Florida, that we endured Kai’s screaming for 20 minutes as we rode on a boat, over choppy waters, that took us out to where we would try scuba diving for the first time.

How would he react on a 3-hour ride that took us further out into the Atlantic?

We had happy faces when we arrived in Provincetown, at the far tip of Cape Cod, where we would board our boat.

But Kai started getting agitated as we waited to board our boat. He had insisted that we go wait in line early, but complained when the waiting went on for about 15 minutes.

When we boarded, we were able to snag some prime seats right up at the front of the boat. But Kai was angry about sitting out in the sun. Yesterday he complained that it was too rainy. Today it was too sunny. This boy is just full of complaints. And it wasn’t just that he complained…

“It’s all Dad’s fault!”

Hoo boy, whose idea was this to go whale watching?

Though once the boat started on its journey, Kai was happy again.

About a half hour after we started out, we spotted our first whales, way in the distance.

And when we got close to the whales, Kai really got excited. I was very happy to see that he was interested in seeing the whales.

He seemed to really be enjoying this!

Every time we spotted another whale, he took great interest in seeing it.

I breathed a little sigh of relief. It made it easier for me to enjoy this adventure.

We ended up seeing many many whales, including three different types: Minke, Finback, and Humpback, including these Humpback:

After about an hour and 45 minutes, Kai had seen enough and was ready to go back. As it wasn’t quite time to return, Kai started to get agitated every time the captain headed toward another whale or to slow the boat for everyone to view. Kai just wanted to get back.

We let him use the iPhone to keep him from voicing his displeasure too loudly.

When the captain finally turned up the motors to head back to shore, Kai was very happy.

I wish he could have been a bit more patient, but all in all, this was a very positive experience. We saw a whole bunch of whales up close – truly amazing sights that these photos just don’t do justice. And Kai did really well overall.

Sometimes it pays to be optimistic.

We had lunch when we came ashore, then walked around Provincetown a little bit. It’s a fun place and my wife and I could have spent hours more there but it was pushing our luck just to get Kai to walk around as much as we did.

Finally, we headed back to our hotel so we could change into our swimsuits and head to the beach.

The beach was full of seaweed and dead sea creatures that had washed ashore. Kai enjoyed looking at them, such as these horseshoe crabs.

But it wasn’t really the kind of place where you’d want to swim, so after a while we went back to the hotel and swam in the pool.

A late dinner capped off our full day.

Kai said that he liked Cape Cod better than Boston. Hopefully that feeling will last through tomorrow as we have one more day here.

New England Vacation – Day 4: Plimouth Plantation and on to Cape Cod

It rained all day as we made our way out of Boston.

Our destination was Cape Cod, but on the way we stopped to visit Plimouth Plantation.

There are two primary parts to the Plantation. One is the recreation of a Native American homesite of the Wampanoag tribe. Seeing the Wampanoag house was interesting as Kai had a project from school last year where he had to create a model of this house.

It was interesting as there were Native Americans inside of the houses who explained their culture and answered questions.

The other main section of the Plantation is a recreation of the original Plymouth Colony, established in the17th century by English colonists.

Kai was getting pretty crabby by the time we got here as the steady rain was dampening his mood.

He listened to a bit of “Captain Standish” talking about life in the Colony, but mostly just pestered us to get going.

After lunch, we visited the recreation of the Mayflower.

It was interesting to see the small quarters of the 100+ pilgrims who traveled over.

Our final stop was at the Plimouth Grist Mill, where we learned how the colonists made corn flour.

As we were indoor for this part, Kai was mostly happy.

But not as happy as he was when we reached our lodge.

After complaining whenever we had to step out in the rain to see one of the sites, what is the first thing he wanted to do when we got to the motel?

Yes, that’s right, he wanted to go to the swimming pool.

Mom didn’t want to go so it was up to me to go with him. But the pool was actually warmer than the rain drops so it wasn’t too bad.

We wrapped up our day with dinner. By this time the rain was a downpour so we got soaked running from the car to the restaurant.

The meal was good, though. Kai’s lobster ravioli was the best. My wife’s chef carbonara was good, too.

My fried oysters were a bit of a disappointment. We had the best fried oysters in Hiroshima a year ago, and these did not compare at all.

The drive home from the restaurant was a bit treacherous as the roads were somewhat flooded in places.

But the rain is supposed to clear overnight. We hope so as we have reservations to go whale watching in the morning. Let’s see how that goes.

New England Vacation – Boston, Day 3

“Today is a new day, right, Dad?”

That is what I always tell Kai after he has had a bad day, usually because of some incident at school. This time he wanted confirmation after our angry exchange the night before.

Yes, Kai, today is a new day. Let’s make it a good one.

We had the cannoli we had bought for our dessert the night before.

They lived up to their hype.

And with that, the anger from yesterday was put behind us.

We started out our sightseeing with a Duck tour, practically a must for tourists in Boston. We got to see a lot more of the city than we would have otherwise.

Kai raised his hand when the driver asked if any kids wanted a turn at driving.

No, he did not drive us into the bridge.

And so we were off to a good start to the new day.

Next we went to the Museum of Science. As with the aquarium, this was not in my original plans for Boston, but Kai said he wanted to go.

They had a special exhibit on the making of the Pixar movies.

Kai wanted to get hands on with all of the exhibits.

There were times when he hovered over others who were on a particular exhibit and we had to redirect him to another one that was open, but he really enjoyed his time at the museum.

It was mid afternoon by the time he finally had his fill of the museum. I think my wife would have been happy to go back to the hotel at that point, but she and Kai indulged my wishes to go to the Public Garden and ride a swan boat.

We also saw the Make Way for Ducklings statues that honor the children’s story set in the Public Garden. My wife and I have fond memories of the book, but Kai didn’t remember even though we read it countless times when he was young.

We finally took a break back at the hotel.

And then we headed out for dinner. We were a little tired of seafood so we cancelled our reservation at Legal Seafood and instead went to Chinatown. We went to the most popular spot, where we had to wait about a half hour for a table. Kai was fine waiting as he had more time on the iPhone.

And the food was worth the wait.

For dessert, we found a Japanese pastry shop called Beard Papa’s. Their cream puffs are much lighter than the cannoli we had from Mike’s, but very good as well, in a very different way.

It was a good day.

But Kai is looking forward to leaving Boston tomorrow. Too much walking here. Too many people (though that may be true where we are headed as well). And a swimming pool awaits us at our next stop.

New England Vacation - Day 2

Funny how things can go from great to lousy in a moment.

Most of our second day in Boston went well.

We started off with breakfast at a nearby bagel bakery, and then walked over to the harbor to visit the Boston Tea Party Ships & Museum. More than just a museum, it is a 75-minute re-enactment and telling of the events of the night of the Boston Tea Party, and the aftermath.

The experience lived up to the positive reviews on TripAdvisor. The interactive experience was a good match for Kai. He especially enjoyed throwing the crates of “tea” off the ships and into the harbor.

I’m sure he learned more about the event, and the subsequent events that led to the start of the Revolutionary War, than he had known previously, as interesting videos accompanied the actors/guides who took us around. For he, and my wife, who does not have the knowledge of American history of someone brought up in this country, it was a great, fun learning experience.

After that we headed to the New England Aquarium.

I wasn’t planning on visiting the aquarium – we have been to numerous aquariums including a pretty good one back home in Chicago – and we had an awful experience at another aquarium we visited on a previous vacation.

But Kai said he wanted to go, and I wanted to do the things he wanted, so we went over there.

When we got there, we found a long line to get in. I got out my smartphone and bought tickets online instead, though our entry time would not be for another half hour. We found a food stand outside and had lunch while we waited.

Inside it was as crowded as the line outside would indicate. But other than a relatively brief moment when Kai got agitated about not being able to get a good view of the penguins being fed, the crowd didn’t bother us.

The aquarium was really amazing. I think it might be the best we’ve been to. The penguin area is the largest I’ve ever seen. And among the other highlights is a large tank in the middle of the building that is about four stories high with a circular walkway all around so you can see from the bottom to the top.

Kai’s favorite was the shark and ray touch tank.

At one point, he wanted to touch the largest ray, one that did not come close to the edge. He leaned way out to reach it, and if I didn’t yell at him I think he would have fallen into the tank. As it was, the front of his t-shirt got completely soaked.

In typical Kai fashion, he thought it was great.

We came back to the hotel for rest (for Mom) and iPad time (for Kai).

That evening, we went over to the North End for a great Italian dinner.

After dinner, we walked over to Mike’s Pastry, a very famous Italian bakery that draws huge crowds. When we walked by on Saturday, there was a line out the door and down the block. On this evening, there was no line out the door but the crowd inside was still large and it took us a good 15 minutes to get up to the front to order. Which was good as we needed that time to decide which of the many different flavors of cannoli to order. My wife got Espresso, Kai chose Chocolate Covered, and I got something called Florentine that looked like it had chocolate chips covering it. We looked forward to having it back at our hotel room.

On the way back, we passed Faneuil Hall, the famed marketplace where street performers are constantly performing. We stopped to watch a group of African American performers who were doing acrobatics and break dancing. They were very talented, with skills rivaling top gymnasts. Their crowd banter was half funny and half uncomfortable; they were entertaining as they pulled spectators into their act though I thought it got to be a bit much when they really laid on the guilt trip as they solicited money.

The day before, we had passed there as we were going for lunch and Kai got annoyed that we had stopped to view a different group of African American performers who were wearing orange shirts.

On this night, he got agitated as we watched this group of performers.

“Are they the orange shirt guys in disguise?” he asked angrily.

No, these are different guys, but what difference does it make?

But the longer we watched the angrier he got.

“I bet these are the orange shirt guys!”

Who cares? Just enjoy the show. These guys are really talented.

But he wouldn’t let up.

I was thinking of leaving but the performers were building up to the big finale where one of them would leap over a group of spectators they had pulled from the crowd. Besides, I didn’t want to leave before we had donated to the group and they hadn’t come around to collect yet.

The finale turned out to be the same acrobatic jump that the orange-shirted guys had done the day before. And as soon as they did it, Kai angrily yelled, “I knew it!” and he kicked the orange cone that marked off the performing area.

I roughly pulled him away and gave him a shove. He fell to the ground and got up very mad at me.

But I was just as mad at him.

Why does he get so angry about the most insignificant things? Why can’t he just enjoy a simple street performance?

We didn’t have the cannoli that night. Our good feelings from the day had completely dissipated.

We all went to bed angry.

New England Vacation – Day 1

Greetings from Boston!

We decided to head to the northeast part of the country for this year’s summer vacation. I have been to the Boston area several times and have been looking forward to introducing it to my wife and son.

Our flight out was pleasant – It was our first experience on JetBlue airlines and I think we’ll be flying them again whenever we have that option. You get a bit more legroom, they actually serve a bag of higher quality snacks than the usual tiny bag of peanuts, and the service was better than what we’ve come to expect from domestic airlines.

I had told Kai that we’ll be doing a lot of walking in Boston. It is not a city you want to be driving in, and it is a great walking city.

Things started out okay as we headed to Quincy Market to have lunch. The place is full of interesting food choice, and today it also was jammed full of hungry tourists. But Kai handled the crowd and the wait, and we were very happy with our first taste of New England seafood.

Kai had the New England Clam Chowder bread bowl, my wife had Maine Lobster pie, and I had a lobster roll. I had a taste of all three dishes, and I have to say, I loved all of them. If that is an indication of the food we will have on this vacation, we will eat very well.

After that, I wanted to walk some of The Freedom Trail. Kai complained about the walking. It wasn’t a huge surprise that he complained, but given that it was not particularly hot or humid, and we did not walk all that far, it was still disappointing. We made several rest stops along the way to try to accommodate him as best we could.

But his happiest moment came when we got back to the hotel and settle down in our room where he is now gleefully using his iPad.

Sigh.

Trying to stay calm and positive… wish us luck!


Edited 8/9:

We went for dinner at the Union Oyster House, the oldest restaurant in America. We had some raw oysters on the half shell, and then three different lobster dishes for the main meal. Mine was the “Lazyman’s Lobster” that had chunks of lobster meat with breadcrumbs; I did not particularly enjoy it. My wife said her Lobster Scampi was good. And Kai got a boiled whole lobster.

He couldn’t eat the whole thing so I ‘had’ to finish it up. It was good, though not nearly as good as the lobster roll I had for lunch.

Service at this place was also really slow, but Kai didn’t mind as it game him more time to use Mom’s iPhone.

Afterward, he enjoyed meeting the big brothers of the lobster he had for dinner.

After sleeping extra late, we’re now rested and ready for Day 2.

I hope.

Some Good News from School

Kai’s inability to handle frustrating situations has been an ongoing challenge. So it was a very pleasant surprise to get the following email from a staff member at Kai’s middle school:

Kai experienced a frustrating occurrence that involved another student on the outing. While at the bowling alley, I gave all students 4 quarters to play a few arcade games. After Kai had put 2 quarters into a game, another student sat in the playing spot and played the game, thus blocking Kai from playing the game he'd just paid for. Kai came directly to me and let me know what had happened and asked me to replace the quarters he'd lost. He communicated effectively and calmly. At the same time, the peer and his aide approached us to attempt to talk and Kai was not ready to interact with the student. He was quickly becoming frustrated with both the situation, as well as his glasses were bothering him. There was also a lot of environmental stimuli that were, potentially, further promoting his disregulation.

Kai did such a great job tolerating all of these potential triggers and stayed calm (or close to it!) the entire time. Once he'd taken some quiet time in the van, he self-initiated an apology to the student, saying, "I'm sorry I lost my cool back there!" The student then apologized to him for playing on his game. It was a really heartwarming moment, as well as an affirmation of Kai's ability to avoid becoming overly disregulated in these types of situations. It was great to see this skill emerge during a situation that could have been a major trigger for him and in a very public setting.

I wanted to let you know how great he did and how proud we were to see him "keep his cool" in the community and repair with the student without staff prompting or support. GO KAI!!! :)

It was the most encouraging and heartwarming news we’ve gotten about Kai in quite some time. Is this is just the beginning of him turning a corner in being able to regulate himself?

Here’s hoping.

Our 4th of July

Kai was awarded a free ticket to the Six Flags theme park in our area for completing a reading program. With all of the rain and cool weather we've had to start the summer, and often having dogs that need our attention, it was difficult finding a time to spend a day at the amusement park.

It turned out that the 4th of July was the perfect opportunity. Kai doesn't yet care to ride on rollercoasters, so he wanted to spend the whole day at the waterpark. And the weather one of our first warm summer weekend days, which made it perfect for getting splashed all day.

I was worried that it might be extra crowded on the holiday, but the line of cars into the parking lot was not so long. We had bought our tickets (for my wife and I) online just before leaving home, so we were looking forward to a quick entry into the park. But when we got to the gate, my wife's ticket wasn't accepted by the scanner. We explained that we had just bought our ticket, but the worker directed us to the information booth.

The line there was longer, and much slower moving. Kai started to get upset.

"How long do we have to wait in this stupid line?!"

I had the same question, but tried not to act as impatient.

He kept whining and asked to use my phone. Kai had lost his electronics privileges for an incident at school, but after it became apparent that our wait would be extensive, I relented and let him use my phone. It wasn't his fault that we had an unexpected wait, and I didn't want the whole day to go downhill before we ever really got started.

After 45 minutes, we finally got to the front of the information line, where the worker told us that my wife's ticket was "reregistered" and we should try again. We went back to the gate, where her ticket again was rejected. But the worker there let us all in after we start to explain the situation. Phew! I don't think any of us would have been able to stay calm if we had to endure any more waiting.

We hurried our way over to the waterpark portion of the park and chose our first slide. The line was not long so we quickly got to the top and was able to get on a tube without much of a wait.

It was a fun ride, and all of our agitation over the entry was forgotten. The following photo was taken shortly after we came down the first time.

We were able to quickly make our way up and down several more slides as it wasn't yet crowded. And when it finally did get more crowded, we took a break for lunch before going on a few more slides. It was a fun afternoon at the waterpark.

But our day wasn't over. We still had to go see the fireworks. It was the 4th go July after all.

We came home, had dinner, and then went to the fireworks area in our community and staked out a spot. We played some games while we waited.

It was a good show.

And then we came home and lit a few sparklers.

It was definitely a full, fun Fourth of July. Hope you had a nice one, too.

The Start of Middle School, and Strawberry Picking

Kai has been in middle school for two weeks now. Well, the summer school version of middle school anyway.

In the summer, they have light academics in the morning, followed by fun activities in the afternoon. These activities have included going to the pool twice, a cooking lesson, a visit to a video arcade, and trips to Little India, Little Village (Mexican), and today, to Little China.

So it's been fun for him. And so far he's torn up only one shirt, and has yet to say too many mean things about the staff. Considering he's had to transition to a new routine, building, staff, and mostly different students, we'll take it.

Though the bigger test will come in the fall when more demands are placed on him.

This weekend we made our annual visit to Thompson's Strawberry Farm just over the border in Wisconsin. Every year it seems harder for me and my wife as our backs ache more and more while bending over to pick the strawberries. We wonder how many more years we'll be able to do this.

But Kai seemed to enjoy it. While my wife and I went hunched over, up and down the long rows of strawberry plants, Kai mostly settled down in one spot.

This year, he actually picked some berries that didn't just go straight into his mouth and we ended up with three boxes altogether.

As long as Kai keep enjoying coming up here, we'll probably keep our tradition going.

We topped up our visit to the cheese state with another tradition -- lunch at The Brat Stop. We had brats with kraut and brown mustard, along with fried cheese curds. That tradition is a little easier on the back, and a treat for the taste buds. That may be incentive enough to come back up here next year.

End of Elementary School

Kai finished up elementary school this past week and will start at the middle school for summer school tomorrow.

He was all smiles at his graduation ceremony, which was held three days before the actual end of school.

But on the last day of school, a day intended to be full of fun activities, Kai got upset. My understanding is that he got mad when his team lost in some sports competition.

As has happened so many times before, he took his anger out on the shirt he was wearing, ripping it completely in half.

That he did this during his last moments at the school seems fitting, as it was typical of the challenges we've endured the past 5 1/2 years.

In many ways, Kai has made a lot of progress and is a completely different child than when he first started at the school. But I think the end result of all of the ups and downs for me is that I am less optimistic now than ever before that Kai will be capable of leading any semblance of a "normal" life. The anger issues don't seem to go away. Academically, he seems to have made almost no progress in math in the past three years, going from a second grader who held his own in the 5th grade classroom for math to a 5th grader who struggles with math problems that are the least bit challenging.

The goal has always been that he go to college, get some type of job, and be able to live independently. I think I've started to lose hope of that over the past year especially.

So now he is on to middle school. His teacher and therapist there say that they've seen kids make remarkable progress when they go through middle school. I can only hope that Kai will be one of those kids.