Now That Was a Busy Weekend: Part 2 – Mom's Birthday and Pumpkin Festival

After the Pooch Parade, my wife took Riley and her owners home while Kai and I drove separately. Kai wanted to stop at a Target to get Mom a birthday present.

I asked Kai what he wanted to get Mom.

“I don’t know. Maybe Angry Birds.”

I mildly scolded Kai, explaining that when you buy a present for someone, you look for something that you think they would like, not something that you want for yourself.

I suggested that we could look for music, movies, or clothes. He chose music.

I found a couple CDs that I thought my wife would enjoy. But Kai did not like the selections.

“Let’s look at the movies.”

Kai asked me what movies Mom would like. The reality is that there are very few movies that I would think of buying for my wife. First of all, our public library has a very good selection. But also because we watch almost every movie just once so it’s not really worth owning them.

I saw Kai eyeing the latest animated feature that I knew he would want to get for himself. But after my earlier scolding, he knew better than to suggest it for Mom.

After much dithering going back and forth between the music and dvd sections, I was getting impatient. Kai’s boxing class would be starting soon so I wanted him to decide on something.

I asked him if he was sure that he did not want to get the CDs I picked out. He said he was sure.

So I suggested that we go over to the section that sold women’s clothing and look for shirts. Kai thought that was a good idea.

And when we got there, he quickly picked out a nice pink long-sleeve top.

“This looks good.”

Yes, it does, I agreed.

And with that, we were finally free to move on to the rest of our activities.

Kai had his boxing class and soccer game.

And after he took a bath, it was time to go to the Highwood Pumpkin Festival.

This is the fourth year for the festival in which our tiny neighboring town attempts to break the Guinness world record for the most lit jack-o-lanterns.

It was raining lightly when we made our way over to the festival. Kai usually gets upset with any amount of rain, but he didn’t complain at all on this evening.

The festival covered several city blocks so started walking around and taking in the sight of all the pumpkins.

We came to an area that was set up for carving. To break the record, they would have to carve and light over 30,000 jack-o-lanterns, so they needed all the help they could get. Kai insisted that I pitch in.

I carved Kai’s name in a large pumpkin.

After that, we walked some more and saw people starting to light the jack-o-lanterns. Kai wanted to help.

We let Kai hold a lighted candle for the picture, but most of the time he gathered the small, unlit candles and placed inside the jack-o-lanterns for lighting. Then, my wife or I would light them.

It was hard work. After I lit a row of pumpkins, I looked back and saw that the wind had blown out nearly all of them. After three or four attempts at the same row, I was ready to move on. We had done our part; let someone else try.

But Kai didn’t want to quit.

“We have to keep going!”

It was cold. My wife and I were tired. But we kept going for longer than we wanted, as Kai was still enthusiastic about lighting as many pumpkins as he could. We found a spot that wasn’t as windy and was able to successfully light the pumpkins.

Eventually we convinced Kai to leave as we still had Mom’s birthday to celebrate. I think it was the thought of birthday cake that finally got him to agree to go.

On our way out, we saw a lot of lit jack-o-lanterns.

But I was pretty sure that it wasn't going to be enough to break the record. We later found out that they had over 28,000 lit jack-o-lanterns, but another town, in New Hampshire, set the record that same day with over 30,000. Oh well, we'll try again next year.

Back in the warmth of our house, we celebrated Mom's birthday.

Here’s a picture of the pink top that Kai picked out:

Kai enjoyed watching Mom open her other presents, too.

It was a long day. But a good day.

And our weekend fun wasn’t over yet.

Now That Was a Busy Weekend: Part 1 – Pooch Parade

As if our Saturdays aren’t busy enough with Kai’s special needs activities for ice skating, boxing, and soccer, this week we also went to two additional events on Saturday.

First was the Spooky Pooch Parade at our local botanic garden. We went there with two of the dogs that my wife sees often, and their owners.

There was Riley, who was a beautiful pumpkin ballerina.

And, Momo, who was an adorable witch.

This is an annual event, but it was the first time we had attended. This is the only day of the year that dogs are allowed at the garden, and there were a lot of dogs taking part in the event.

The three-headed dog was one of my favorites.

Many dogs came dressed for the horticultural theme of the botanic garden.

And we also saw a lot of owner and dog combinations.

My guess is that there were over a thousand dogs there, and it was a crush of people and animals as we waited for the judging to be completed before the parade would begin.

My wife and I enjoyed looking at all of the dogs, but Kai was getting grumpy at all the waiting. We thought perhaps that we would take a break from the crowd and go get a snack before the parade began.

Of course, as soon as we go to the cafeteria, Kai started becoming anxious that we would miss the start of the parade. With his loud grumbling, I barely had time to take a bite of a cookie before we hurried back to the area where all the dogs were.

The parade started soon after, and Kai enjoyed marching in it alongside Mom and Riley.

I could have taken hundreds of pictures, but here are just a few of other dogs we saw.

For those of you who want to see more pictures, I direct you to the website of Chicago Botanic Garden.

My wife and Kai did the short route of the parade while I snapped these pictures. It would have been fun to stay a bit longer, but I think Kai had had enough by then.

And besides, we still had a long rest of the day ahead of us.

Fall Weekend at Ojiichan’s

We drove out to see my dad this weekend.

Fall is a great time to go as my dad has a lot of apple trees on his property that are usually loaded with fruit this time of year. Kai wanted to walk around and pick apples as soon as we got there.

After that we had lunch. And then Kai occupied himself with the iPad while my wife and I cleaned up the house just a bit. It would take a 10-man crew a few weeks to really clean the place, so we just did what we could while we were there.

We couldn’t work too long though, as Kai was itching to get outside again. My wife loves chestnuts and Kai knew that Ojichan has a couple of chestnut trees. So we went in search of the elusive treat

We saw a lot of the thorny shells on the ground that was evidence that the trees must have produced a lot of chestnuts. But with no actual nut inside the empty shells, it looked like the squirrels had gotten all of it. Finally, my wife spotted one with the nuts still inside the shell.

We found a total of three chestnuts.

We came back to the house and played a game of darts.

From the time that Kai first saw my dad’s electronic dartboard, he was fascinated by the game. The combination of numbers and funny sounds made a perfect combination. At the time of his first visit, he was too small to throw the darts well, though we let him stand on a crate just a couple feet from the board so that he could participate.

Now, my dad no longer plays as his eyesight has deteriorated to the point where he cannot really see the dartboard. But Kai has gotten much better and he can throw the dart from almost the same distance back as I do. So, he, Mom, and I played while Ojiichan watched.

After the dart game, the four of us drove to a nearby farm where we saw apple cider being made. It was the first time I had seen the process.

First, a woman washed the apples and loaded them on a conveyer.

The apples went through a grinder.

A man wrapped the apple pulp in burlap.

When he had five of those stacked up, he started the machine that pressed the juice out of the pulp.

The juice flowed into a tank.

And then we were able to pour ourselves some cider.

Afterward, we enjoyed the cider, and a dozen apple cider doughnuts which we also saw being made.

Both the cider and doughnuts were very delicious.

The next day, we walked around picking more apples.

Kai enjoyed tasting fruits from each different tree. Some were too sour, but he found some that he really enjoyed and we brought back a large bagful.

On the drive back home, we stopped at a country market that had a very wide assortment of large pumpkins.

We picked out the largest pumpkin that we had ever bought, and it was only $10, which is about a third of the cost we would have to pay at a pumpkin farm near our house.

And so we had a very pleasant weekend.

I know my dad was happy to see us, but I was also pleased that Kai had a good time.

There were many things that could have bothered him – the fruit flies in my dad’s house, the odor from the garbage we hauled away in our car, the odor from my dad who doesn’t shower as often as he needs to – but the boy who often wails at the slightest odd smell just went with the flow this weekend.

I really don’t know if he just did not notice, or if he did notice but had enough social decorum not to mention it. I’m guessing it was the former, though that would be a bit surprising given his ultra sensitivity to everything.

I’m just glad that he remains such a sweet kid who truly enjoys seeing all of his grandparents. Even the smelly one.

Full Weekend: Old and New Activities

Our weekends got even busier than they had been as new activities started up this weekend.

Kai attended his first special needs ice skating class of the season. He seemed happy to be back on the ice and looked like he did not forget how to skate over the summer.

On Saturdays, we also have his special needs soccer game. This week, it started to rain lightly just as we got to the field. It was peculiar when he wasn’t bothered at all by the heavy rain last weekend when we were in our tent, but just this little light rain on Saturday was enough to get him upset and he kept pestering us that he wanted to go home.

He refused to go on the field and practice before the game would start. And then he really got angry when we had to clear off the field and go under the shelter when it started thundering. The plan was to wait it out a few minutes to see if the rain would let up. But even under the safety of the shelter, Kai kept complaining and repeatedly said he wanted to go home. Finally, it the game was called, Dad had to walk over to the faraway parking lot to get the car, and drove home.

The highlight of our Saturday, though, was a new activity that we had Kai try for the first time, a boxing class for children with special needs.

We had heard about Jordan’s Corner through word of mouth. It sounded like the perfect activity for Kai. It would provide exercise, which we’d like him to get more of, and perhaps it would give him an opportunity to release some of his aggression.

The class is a fast-paced mix of exercise and boxing.

Here you see Kai getting instruction on punching. I think the big smile on his face says it all.

Toward the end of the class, each child gets a turn to spar with the teacher. As this was Kai’s first session, he was a bit tentative compared with some of the kids who had been there before. Still, you can see that he enjoyed it.

I think this will be an activity he looks forward to every week.

After the rain on Saturday, we welcomed the nice sunny day on Sunday. We went back to the Skokie Lagoons to canoe and see a different part than we saw a couple weeks ago.

And then, afterward, we worked on Kai’s biking.

I had tried to loosen up his hand brakes to make them easier for his little hands to grip and squeeze. But I wasn’t successful, so we took his bike over to a local bike shop and they were able to do the job.

I wanted to go right on the bike trail near where we went canoeing, but my wife suggested that he practice at our school parking lot first. This time, I took her suggestion right away.

He did several laps around the parking lot, and then I had him slow down and squeeze the brake. He was able to do it and the bike stopped.

The only issue was that he did not stand up off of his seat, so that when he comes to a stop he does not feel comfortable as his feet can hardly touch the ground as he is still sitting on his seat.

I repeatedly tried to get him to practice lifting up off his seat, keep his left foot on the peddle while lowering his right foot forward to the ground as he stopped. It is always an eye opener for me when something that seems easy proves difficult with Kai. I try to break the instructions down into simple steps, but he still struggles.

My wife later suggested that we practice this while I hold the bike, as Kai may be more relaxed to try it on a stationary bike than one that is moving.

All in all, though, I was happy that he went back on the bike. After last weekend’s trauma, even that small step is good progress.

Hope you had a nice weekend, too.

Quick Update: He Had a Good Day!

After the events of yesterday, we were nervous about how Kai would do at school today.

He seemed remarkably jovial in the morning, but we were not sure how he would react when it came time for his classmates to enjoy their movie while he would be in a different area.

We emailed his teacher to give her a heads up over how upset Kai was last night, and to ask her about the events of the previous day. She wrote back to say that the staff had provided supports to Kai throughout the activity, but that he refused most of them.

A little later, his school therapist emailed to say that Kai came to school with a calm demeanor and positive attitude and was doing well so far.

The rest of the day, including movie time, must have gone well. His score on the point sheet was one of the highest so far this school year, and my wife said that he came home with a smile and in a very good mood.

At this week’s community meeting, he had been awarded Student of the Week.

I don’t know that he really deserved that recognition for his behavior all week. But I think the school staff wanted to give him positive reinforcement for how wonderfully he overcame his disappointment from yesterday and turned it into such a good day today.

The recognition, and his outstanding day, was a surprise.

A good surprise.

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

Anger and Depression Over a Missed Reward

Kai has gotten off to a mediocre start to the school year. It hasn’t been as bad as the days of major incidents every day, but it’s also not like he’s putting together a string of great days either.

Yesterday was illustrative.

He was having a fine day. Until late in the day.

His class was working on an art project. They had collected leaves and then would have them ironed between sheets of wax paper along with little shavings from various crayons. Each student would get a turn to have their leaves ironed by a staff member.

Kai’s turn was last.

Regular readers know that Kai sometimes has difficulty waiting. In the past, the school was working with him to help him develop his ability to wait without getting upset. They communicated expectations so he would know ahead of time if he would get to go first, or if he would have to wait. They also had a staff member assigned to him to help him with coping strategies while he waited.

We’re not clear if any of that happened yesterday. He has a new teacher this year, so perhaps she hasn’t been brought up to speed on these techniques.

What is clear is that Kai got upset about having to wait, and then did something. It was deemed a “minor” incident – not sure exactly what it was. But the consequence is that he will miss a special reward of getting to watch a movie during class today. All of his classmates were safe all week, so he will be the only one to miss out.

When I got home from work last night, my wife filled me in on all that happened. Kai was in his bedroom. He still had not taken his bath yet. He was still very upset.

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow!”

I asked him what happened. He buried his head in a blanket and shook his head.

When he surfaced, he said that he hates everyone at his school.

Gradually, he started to talk about what happened. As is typical with him, he was angry with everyone else. He was angry with the staff for his punishment. He was angry with his classmates because they would get to see the movie and he would not.

I tried to explain that he needed to accept responsibility for his own actions, that he was the one who did something that now resulted in him missing the movie.

I don’t know that he ever quite gets that.

He kept repeating that he would not go to school. When I told him that he would go to school, he indicated that he would do further unsafe things there. I told him that if that happened, then there would be consequences at home beyond just missing a movie at school.

I sat with him for a long time. His emotions ran from anger to depression. I kept telling him that he would have to try to stay calm at school the next day. And that he has to understand that he has control over what happens to him.

I didn’t think I had made much progress with him, but also didn’t think there was anything more I could say or do. Besides, I was getting hungry.

I told him to take his bath and then we would eat dinner. He moped around a while longer. My wife and I repeated telling him to take his bath, and he finally did.

When he came down to dinner, he seemed to be in a better mood.

And this morning, he actually was in good spirits.

Of course, I don’t know how he will be when it comes time for his class to see the movie and he has to be elsewhere.

So, I’ll be wondering how his day goes. We shall see.

Door County Camping Trip

We went on our annual fall camping trip this past weekend.

For the last few years, we have been going down to the area of Starved Rock State Park, southwest of Chicago, right here in Illinois. But this year we wanted to try someplace new, and made the 4-hour drive up north to Door County in Wisconsin.

Door County is well known as a popular summer retreat for many Chicagoans, but this was our first visit. It is famous for its woods, waters, charming towns, fish boils, and throngs of Chicagoans who visit.

I was especially looking forward to the trip, particularly as it followed a busy week of work that had me flying to Mexico City for a few days. And though Kai asked me what hotel I stayed at down there during my “vacation,” rest assured that the business trip was no vacation.

And so I was glad to put all that behind me as we drove up through Wisconsin.

Our destination was Peninsula State Park, which is located on the beautiful shores of Green Bay (the bay, not the town), about three-quarters of the way up into Door Peninsula.

We were able to pitch the tent before it got dark, then started a campfire and grilled hamburgers before roasting marshmallows.

Here you can see Kai’s attempt to roast two marshmallows at once resulted in one being burnt to a crisp while the other not roasted at all.

Though on his next attempt he was much more successful and he was able to enjoy s’mores.

We were all in good spirits the next morning.

Kai found a tree at our campsite that was perfect to climb on.

Our plan for the morning was to go bike riding. Last week, I could only show you pictures of Kai riding his bike in a parking lot, as we were not able to actually ride on any trails. But with many beautiful trails at Peninsula, my wife and I were looking forward to a great morning riding through the forest.

But don’t bother scrolling down to see a photo of us bicycling. There is no such picture.

Shortly after we started riding, we came to an area where we could get a good view of the bay. My wife stopped and got off her bike.

Kai was riding behind her. He started yelling that he could not stop, and leaped off his bike while it was still moving faster than it should have to be jumping off. He tumbled to the asphalt surface, scraping his knee and doing more serious damage to his psyche.

His previous bike had foot brakes, and he apparently was not yet used to the hand brakes on his new bike. Admittedly, they are a little difficult for his small hands to squeeze. Apparently, he did not think he could use his brakes so he jumped off instead.

I cleaned the blood off his knee and told him that he would be fine. He did not think so.

“I DON’T EVER WANT TO RIDE THIS BIKE AGAIN!”

I asked him to practice squeezing his hand brakes. He said he could not squeeze it, though it looked to me like he wasn’t trying at all.

I tried to get him to get back on the bike so that I could teach him how to put his feet down to slow down if he needed to, rather than leaping off the bike.

“I’M NOT GETTING ON THAT BIKE!”

My wife and I tried to reason with him, telling him that he was able to ride so well the week before. It was just one fall but he knows how to ride.

Eventually, after much screaming, most of it on his part, he got back on the bike and we rode a little farther. But every time we came to a small hill, he stopped and got off the bike. We finally decided to ride back to the tent and forget about bike riding for this weekend.

None of us were feeling good. My wife and I were certainly let down, to put it mildly, from our hopes of a fun morning on the trails. Kai was feeling drained from his own emotional trauma with the bike.

At that point, I was wondering if we would have any fun at all that weekend.

After a short break, we drove into the nearest town, Fish Creek, where we walked around town and browsed a couple of shops.

After a lunch of fish sandwiches and chili, we drove to see more of the area, going all the way to the tip of Door Peninsula to where the ferry departs for Washington Island.

We made it back to the State Park in time to go to the beach. The water was cold, but Kai never seems to mind that. We waded out to the end of the roped off area, but even out there it was still too shallow to actually swim.

Still, Kai enjoyed splashing around.

We grilled up chicken for dinner, and quickly ate it and put everything away so that we could drive up to Sven’s Bluff to watch the sun set from up high.

Alas, by that time, the clouds were rolling in. The view was still great from up high, but there was no sunset to be seen.

That night, it rained quite heavily for a few hours. A bit of water leaked into our tent, mostly on my side, but we stayed dry for the most part.

The most remarkable thing was that the boy who is normally afraid of all storms when he is in the safety of our house had no anxiety about being in a tent during this storm.

The next morning, after breakfast, we drove around to other areas of the State Park.

We had some great views from up high. A few trees were turning color and we imagined how spectacular the sights would be in a couple of weeks.

The most popular destination at the Park is Eagle Tower, a 75-foot structure that towers over Green Bay.

We climbed to the top and enjoyed the great views.

And then worked our way down the narrow stairs.

We went back to our campsite and packed up our still-wet tent and other gear.

And then we drove over to Bailey’s Harbor, a little town on the Lake Michigan side of the Peninsula.

We browsed a few more shops, had lunch near the shore of the lake, and stopped now and then to take in the charms of this town.

It was time to get back home.

Things didn’t all go according to plan. I guess I should have learned by now that they often don’t.

But looking back on the weekend, we still had a lot of good times. Enough to make us want to return to Door County again. We want to see more of the area. We want to experience a fish boil.

And we want to ride more of the bike trails.

Maybe next year.