Thursday, July 28, 2011

Noticing A Change

About ten months ago, I wrote about my son’s reaction to being asked to switch seats in his cab to school. He had always sat in the same seat and the sudden change raised his anxiety and he strongly resisted.

Since then, he has been back in his usual seat in the cab.

Until this week.

Kai’s usual taxi driver is off for a few days.

On Monday, we waited for the cab to pick him up to take him to school. It was late.

Usually, when the cab is even a couple minutes late, Kai starts to get upset. It makes for a rough start to the day as it is difficult for him to wait and then he is in an anxious state when the taxi arrives. And sometimes that can carry over to his performance at school.

But on this morning, he stayed calm. In fact, as the time passed, I was the one to get anxious, not Kai. I worried that the new driver had forgotten to pick Kai up, or that the driver had gotten lost. I was concerned that Kai would be late for school.

Fifteen minutes after the time that our usual driver arrives, I could not take it anymore. I told Kai that I would take him to school.

He remained calm in the car as I drove. And he was happy when he got to school.

The next morning, the taxi arrived at our house on time. But the substitute driver had the kids she picked up first in different seats than usual. That meant that Kai would have to sit in a different spot also.

Uh oh. I was sure that would set Kai off.

But, it did not.

He accepted his new seat without protest.

The next morning, the driver had him sit in another different seat. Again, he was okay with the change.

It seems like such a small thing. But, showing flexibility where there wasn’t any before is quite a nice step in his progress.

Amidst some recent challenges, it is important that we notice the positive changes Kai is making as well.

And so this increased flexibility is duly noted.


  1. The new flexibility is great. To what do you attribute the changes?

  2. Ah, that is the key question, isn't it? And, unfortunately, we cannot say for certain why my son is less anxious. We started a new anti-anxiety medication recently, so that may already be making a difference. Or, this may simply be the result of all the work that the staff at school, and his therapists, and we have done to teach him coping strategies and to reduce his stress. Or, it may simply be that he is maturing. Most likely, it is a combination of all these things.


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