He WAS in a Good Mood...

Ever since we last changed medications, Kai had been more agitated in the mornings. But this morning he was in good spirits. And even when his taxi was running late, he remained in a good mood.

He played in the front yard as we waited. He had fun climbing on the mound of snow next to our driveway. He enjoyed picking up pieces of ice.

He held up one piece and said, “It’s a right triangle.” And it was.

I was surprised at how amiable he was, as he usually gets very anxious when the cab is late.

Unfortunately, the cab was really late – eventually coming about a half hour later than usual. And by the time it finally arrived, Kai’s good mood had dissipated.

He was mad, and said that the cab driver was a bad driver and that he hated her. He had not liked this driver ever since she took over the route a few weeks ago, as she never talks with him. But her being this late was unforgivable in his mind. I had to almost literally drag him out to the cab.

I asked the driver why she was so late. She had been late a few times before, too. I tried to explain that my son has a hard time with waiting and that a phone call would be appreciated under these circumstances.

When she responded by giving me attitude, I began to think that Kai was right about her (though not right in the way he expressed it).

Hopefully we can arrange with the school to get our old driver back, the one who is friendly and knows how to talk to kids like Kai.

In the meantime, our son got off to a bad start to the school day, on a rare day when he had been in good spirits.

And that puts me in a bad mood, too.

Winter Arrives, Finally

Now this is more like it. It is winter, after all. And we live in the Midwest.

We have had the mildest start to winter in my life. The string of 50-degree days felt nice, but very strange.

Of course, we had to get the mild weather this winter, the year that we got snowshoes for Christmas that we have yet to try. And the year that my wife got ice skates for all of us, which we’ve used only once.

But last night it finally snowed. Not counting the mirage of a snowfall we had last month, this is our first real snow of the season.

And Kai loved it.

He and I went out and played in it as it started falling yesterday. We had a snowball fight, and what is noteworthy is that he seems to finally be able to make his own snowballs this year.

This morning he wanted to help me shovel the driveway. Well, he helped for about two minutes until he realized what a pain it is, literally. And then he just wanted to throw more snowballs. He was in great spirits!

Unfortunately, the onset of winter weather wasn’t all good.

Kai’s taxi failed to show up this morning, presumably because of the weather. By the time I drove Kai to school, all of his joy over playing in the snow had long dissipated and he was extremely upset over being late, and for the disruption from his usual schedule. It was especially unfortunate, as he had been having a great week, with no incidents since he tore off the ends of his sleeves last week.

And now, as I sit here typing, I realize how much my back is aching from all the shoveling I did.

Okay, so I change my mind about the winter weather. Can we have 50 degrees again?

Noticing A Change

About ten months ago, I wrote about my son’s reaction to being asked to switch seats in his cab to school. He had always sat in the same seat and the sudden change raised his anxiety and he strongly resisted.

Since then, he has been back in his usual seat in the cab.

Until this week.

Kai’s usual taxi driver is off for a few days.

On Monday, we waited for the cab to pick him up to take him to school. It was late.

Usually, when the cab is even a couple minutes late, Kai starts to get upset. It makes for a rough start to the day as it is difficult for him to wait and then he is in an anxious state when the taxi arrives. And sometimes that can carry over to his performance at school.

But on this morning, he stayed calm. In fact, as the time passed, I was the one to get anxious, not Kai. I worried that the new driver had forgotten to pick Kai up, or that the driver had gotten lost. I was concerned that Kai would be late for school.

Fifteen minutes after the time that our usual driver arrives, I could not take it anymore. I told Kai that I would take him to school.

He remained calm in the car as I drove. And he was happy when he got to school.

The next morning, the taxi arrived at our house on time. But the substitute driver had the kids she picked up first in different seats than usual. That meant that Kai would have to sit in a different spot also.

Uh oh. I was sure that would set Kai off.

But, it did not.

He accepted his new seat without protest.

The next morning, the driver had him sit in another different seat. Again, he was okay with the change.

It seems like such a small thing. But, showing flexibility where there wasn’t any before is quite a nice step in his progress.

Amidst some recent challenges, it is important that we notice the positive changes Kai is making as well.

And so this increased flexibility is duly noted.

Disruption In The School Routine

After staying home two days because he was sick, our son returned to school this morning.

Disruption with the usual routine is frequently difficult for kids on the spectrum. That is no different with Kai. He had been doing pretty well at school the past two weeks, but today seemed to have more anxiety about going back. It will only be a half day of school today, so we are hoping that he will have a good, stress-free day to get back into the school routine.

Unfortunately, toward this, we hit a little speed bump this morning.

Kai takes a taxi to school. To those of you who are unfamiliar, it may sound odd for a young child to take a cab to school. I know it sounded strange to me at first. But, when you think of it, it is not that much different than taking a school bus; it is just smaller, makes fewer stops, and picks up less kids. Kai has been sharing his cab with three or four other kids.

For as long as he has been taking a cab to school, he always sits in the same seat: second row, passenger side. Today, the driver asked that he sit in the back row.

He was not happy.

Apparently, the school or cab company or someone has issued a new rule that says boys and girls cannot sit next to each other in the cab. So, in this cab, boys will have to be in the back row and girls in the second row. I’m not sure of the need for the switch, or the importance, but that was the reason given.

Typical kids can find out about such change and easily roll with the punches. For kids like Kai, it is more like a real punch, at least in terms of his anxiety. He really resisted. And, as the driver was stressing out about being late, she relented and let Kai have his usual seat. And that will probably just make it even harder to get him to change the next time.

It sounds strange to those who are not familiar with the characteristics of kids with autism, but even a seemingly minor change like this requires a lot of proactive planning. Ideally, the school would have notified Kai, and us, ahead of time that he would need to switch seats. We, at home, would also have spoken with him and prepared him. Perhaps a social story could have been created so that he could more easily understand and visualize how things would be different.

But, those things were not done.

So, the boy who was anxious about returning to school just became a bit more anxious. And, that makes Grouchy Dad stay grouchy for a while longer.