Thursday, November 3, 2011

Another Party, Yet More Anger

My son was invited to a Halloween party this past weekend. After our recent experience at a birthday party where Kai kept shouting that it was a “stupid party,” I was a bit tense about this party.

This time things went better. We almost made it to the end.

Before we went, I spoke with Kai about not saying things like “stupid party.” He could say he wants to leave, or take a break, but not use mean words.

When we arrived, kids were playing on a big trampoline in the backyard. Kai joined right in. It was quite a sight seeing Kai in his Toad costume with the big mushroom hat bouncing up and down alongside the others.

After that, the party moved inside. The kids were free to choose from a variety of games and activities available, but not required to participate in anything in particular. Kai mostly just watched some of the other kids play Wii.

Later, when the host dad introduced Silly String, the crowd went outside again. All the kids, including Kai, loved chasing each other around, spraying the string. But a can of string doesn’t last very long, and then there is a temporary letdown.

But many of the kids, including Kai, went back on the trampoline and all was fine again.

And that is when our problems started.

For some reason, Kai kept pestering a girl who was also jumping on the trampoline. He got close to her and pushed her. I couldn’t tell if he liked the girl and that was his way of showing it, or if he was annoyed at her. It is possible that she might have accidentally bumped him.

Regardless, she didn’t like Kai pushing her. And so I told him to stop.

He would stay away from her for awhile, but then it would happen again. And so I told him to get off the trampoline.

Shortly thereafter, they brought out more Silly String that they had run out to the store to get. And when that additional Silly String was running out, they decided not to give out the last can or two since there wouldn’t be enough to go around for everyone. And that got Kai really mad.

He stomped around and said mean words to the older brother who was putting away the last can of the Silly String.

I tried to divert Kai onto other activities. I tried to distract him with some of the many Halloween treats they had. But he kept trying to go back to the boy and saying mean words to him.

The mom was very understanding. She offered to let us use another room of the house to try to get Kai to calm down. And so I appreciated her understanding.

But there was no calming Kai down.

And so, we again left a party early.

Still, it was an improvement. Still, there’s more work to be done.


  1. Very very glad that you focused on positives
    I bet you it will just keep getting better
    He has so many gifts and keeps making such great progress

  2. I think you had handled the situation well. It was good to hear that the hosts were understanding.

  3. Thanks. We have another party this weekend so hopefully he will do even better there. Yes, it was good that the hosts were understanding. Their son seems to behave so well, but I think they could still relate.


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