No Harmony During School Concert

We went to the holiday concert at our son’s school yesterday. Before it was to begin, we saw everyone in his class walk by as they went to the waiting area. Kai seemed in good spirits.

The concert began and other kids came out to perform their numbers. Kai and the majority of the children apparently were to remain in back until it was their turn.

As the kids performed some long numbers, my wife and I wondered how Kai was doing while he was waiting. He often doesn’t do well with waiting.

Finally, it was his group’s turn. But, he didn’t come out with them. It was a sure sign that something was wrong.

Then we saw one of the staff rush by, carrying a large blue pillow back to the area where Kai was. The pillow serves as a security blanket for Kai, and the staff frequently uses it to help him calm down after an incident.

We watched the entire concert, wondering if Kai still might come out. But he never did. When the concert was over, we went to find out what happened to him.

We found him sitting in the ‘quiet room’ on his large blue pillow. Though he was now calm, it was very evident that he must have created quite a ruckus.

His face was red. He still had tears in his eyes. And he was shirtless, having completely tattered the one he was wearing.

His school therapist explained that Kai wanted to go first when the kids were lining up. He couldn’t accept that he would have to wait his turn.

My wife was volunteering at the book fair they were having, so I sat with Kai. We hear about his incidents at school all the time, but actually seeing him like this was tough.

I rubbed his back and comforted him, while also talking to him about how hard it is to wait, but that it is something he needs to learn how to do.

When he was finally ready to go home, he didn’t want to wear the spare shirt the staff member brought over to replace the one he destroyed. In the car, he didn’t want to listen to music.

When we got home he went up to his room and cuddled up with his favorite blanket. I quietly spoke with him some more about waiting his turn. He said that he wanted the concert to start over again. I explained that it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes you don’t get to re-do things.

Eventually he settled down.

Special events like a holiday concert are memorable. But in this case, I’ll remember that image of him sitting shirtless on his blue pillow far longer than I would have remembered him singing holiday songs.