Carving a Pumpkin All by Himself

I always call my wife after I leave work to let her know which train I will be on and when I expect to be home. When we talked the other day, she told me that Kai was carving a pumpkin all by himself.

My wife had bought three smaller pumpkins to go with the big one we carved earlier. As it was Halloween week, Kai reminded her that they still needed to be carved, and volunteered to work on one himself.

My wife was very surprised that he wanted to do it. We had never let him try to carve one before.

He told her that he had carved one in school, having been taught by his OT. We don’t always have a lot of insight into what his OT at school works on with him, so it was good to find this out.

Once the pumpkin insides had been cleaned out, he drew a face on his pumpkin. Then he poked a hole for a starting point using the icepick-like tool that came with the carving kit we had.

Next he inserted the tool with the small, saw-like blade and began carving out his design.

He started with the eyes, and then went on to the nose.

I couldn’t wait to get home to see his work. He did a nice job, don’t you think?

My wife and I heaped praise for a job well done, and my wife continued to express surprise that he was able to do this.

“I’m becoming a big boy, Mom,” he told her.

Yes, he is.

Signs of Growth

My son lost three of his front teeth a few weeks ago. Now it looks like his new teeth may be coming in soon. Is this the last vestiges of his cute kid phase?

Kai now tips the scale at over 50 pounds. He is almost four feet tall. Even for those of us who see him every day, we can tell that he has grown a lot in the past year. It really is no longer accurate to say that he is a little kid. I think that he is aware of it, too.

We have been giving Kai vitamin B12 since we first started seeing a DAN (Defeat Autism Now!) doctor shortly after he was diagnosed at age two. The B12 is administered via injections.

When Kai was younger, about an hour after he fell asleep at night, my wife and I would sneak quietly into his room. I’d hold the flashlight while she pulled back his pajamas and stuck the needle in his rear end. I was amazed that he usually did not wake up.

Over the past couple of years, we’ve been injecting him while he was still awake, right after bath time. Of course, for a kid who is terrified of being stuck with a needle for his periodic blood tests, this means having to deal with his fears and overcoming his resistance on a weekly basis.

We quickly developed a regular routine on “pinching” days, as Kai calls it. After his bath, he dashes out of the bathroom, runs to the dining room, hides behind the table, and then I get him and carry him to his bedroom where I let him resist for a few moments before holding him still so that Mom can inject him. Although he acts like he is scared, I think he actually likes the whole routine. If I don’t go to the dining room immediately, he calls for me to come get him. Then, as I’m carrying him, he laughs and seems to treat the whole thing like a fun, silly game.

Now that he is getting so big, however, it is becoming harder for me to carry him. Also, as he is nearly seven years old, I figured that it was about time that he handle the process a bit more maturely. So, I’ve been telling him that when he turns seven, I would no longer carry him to his bedroom. When it came time for this week’s injection, with his birthday yet a month away, he told me that this would be the last time I would carry him.

His permanent teeth are coming in. The B12 routine won’t be quite as playful. Our son is surely growing up before our very eyes.

These are the Good Old Days

Our son is having another pretty good week at school, but home is another story.

The lack of listening, or more accurately, the lack of response that we saw on our Thanksgiving trip is continuing, as is our battles over breakfast. Even worse, Kai seems more obstinate about not doing the things he does not want to do, thus challenging our authority. As he continues to be needy in many ways, this makes for a frustrating combination of seeing him lose his little boy innocence while not seeing a corresponding growth in his independence. It is times like these that really make us wonder about what our son will be like as he gets older.

At the same time, as we get older ourselves, I think we spend more time reminiscing about the past. Over Thanksgiving, at my sister’s house, we recalled Thanksgivings from when my nephews were young kids. They are both in college now, and when they were small, we could not imagine how they would turn out when they grew up.

The same is true for my son now. He is six years old and it is hard enough to imagine what he might be like when in another year or two, let alone when he is 18 or 20 years old.

The fact that he has autism may make it even harder to think of how he will be when he is older. Most parents can pretty safely assume that their youngster will change quite a bit as they grow up. But, my wife and I are not really sure if we’re kidding when we say that Kai will grow up to be a 200 pound version of the still mostly adorable kid he is now. When he is 16, will he still want to sit on our laps and ask for hugs? Will he still be wearing his clothes backwards? Will he still want me to chase him around before taking his supplements?

Yes, we know that he is actually making progress, but he still maintains a lot of his little-boy dependence on Mom and Dad, even as we notice that his body is growing.

Tomorrow, we are having family over for a Hanukkah celebration. I know that years from now, we will look back on these gatherings with fondness. But, I wonder whether it will be with the sweet nostalgia of the good old days before our son grew up to become an independent young man? Or, will it be a bittersweet look at the good old days of the past that did not lead to a brighter future? Either way, on days like today, I need to remind myself that these are the good old days.

“We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway…

“These are the good old days
These are the good old days”
– Carly Simon